「 Insanity, with long intervals of horrible sanity 」

Thursday, December 31, 2009

like always, there are times we could be better..

Goodbye.
2009

..... .. ..... 9:34:00 PM;

괜잖아요...

2010 would be a better year.

..... .. ..... 1:00:00 PM;

Wednesday, December 30, 2009

The annual birthday post.

21st.

of growing up.
painful. and never ending tries of convincing myself.

found a job. got kicked around some bits. hanging out with married people and drinking at harry's when I was supposed to work.

.
found myself a new group to hang out with. the people from singhell. the random drinking spells and photography urges.

found myself a new fandom. so in love with tight pants and hot skin and fiction and laughter and happiness and seamless choreography. being happy is easy, too easy with them.

found renewed vigor towards the old fandom. I am still amazed, detached yet amazed at the amount of me affected easily. absence perhaps does makes the heart fonder. in a different way.

read like a crazed person. fiction was my best friend ever. the most reliable friend, almost.

decided I had a crush and AG named him crushie and it stuck with him ever since. but no, he has no idea really.

boats, open seas, blue skies, white clouds, stars and firefiles. they are priceless and more.

being apathetic is easy. too easy.

lost some people, no, i can't figure out why some can leave and abandon us, we don't even mean a thing and it's so true to them.

angel!teuk, bitchy!heenim, halfkorean!hannie, smexyvocals!jongwoon, strong!youngwoon, dancer!donghee, smexy!minnie, dancemachine!hyukie, flirty!hae, theHorse!siwonnie, eternalMagnae!wookie, missing!kibumie, soulsucker!kyu ♥ ♥ ♥

Sometimes,
we are in love.

Sometimes,
we are in doubt.

Sometimes,
we are in denial.

but mostly,
I just wanna be happy.
and fucking in love, yes yes and YES.

Happy Birthday to me (:

Labels: 生日

..... .. ..... 12:27:00 PM;

Tuesday, December 29, 2009

And it's the last day.

..... .. ..... 1:34:00 AM;

Sunday, December 27, 2009

Ham. it was not about you. really.

p.s.
I'm really touched you're still reading this space XD

Labels: 洋蔥

..... .. ..... 2:39:00 PM;

If it was to declare war or to stake a claim, it's okay. Whomever you want is all yours.

I'm not going to be a fighter anymore. at least. not for people who could hurt me that easily.
Every lingering word is such a smirk.

Don't "rong" me if you already decided to abandon me. really.

I would stand by you, hold your hand, hug you if the warmth was what you needed. I could do more, and much more than my heart is capable of, that is, only if you needed me to do so. It's only the simple matter to speak out.

Since I am always the one abandoned, I suppose I can safely say I saw it coming.

I wished I could wring your heart out and make it bleed just like mine.

..... .. ..... 3:17:00 AM;

Friday, December 25, 2009

hannie, Yongwoon, heenim and kibummie.

13 = 1

Labels: 슈퍼주니어

..... .. ..... 10:06:00 PM;

songbug.

"I've got you under my skin"

Quoting Yinren:
"Girls like HARD things, guys like soft things."

All that skin.... XD

It was caused by this:

Yes I'm insanely infatuated with sukira. hahahas~

Labels: 동방신기, 슈퍼주니어

..... .. ..... 8:17:00 PM;

I just wanna take back my words. I hope too much and it'd hurt me in the end.
it'd just fucking hurt damm so damm much and I just know it.

Sometimes I feel like I should hate Christmas cause it'd be forever be associated with you.
and fiction. for making me hope.

ughs.

..... .. ..... 2:50:00 PM;

Sometimes there are shades of colors mused with light grey and dark blue.
Sometimes I feel that I could do more and more and more and... wells... more.

Sometimes you are important.
you really are, i think, i suppose.
the underlying statement being, perhaps....

not to me anymore.
but to someone else.

So different.

Merry Christmas.

..... .. ..... 11:04:00 AM;

The usual (:

..... .. ..... 12:05:00 AM;

Wednesday, December 23, 2009

Let's hope you are right.

Labels: photos, 슈퍼주니어

..... .. ..... 12:11:00 AM;

Tuesday, December 22, 2009

for kyu and hae... perhaps we're now waiting for siwonnie and wookie?

Labels: photos, 슈퍼주니어

..... .. ..... 4:37:00 PM;

Heenim's turned his into black, like kyu's.

let's hope Christmas will be better.

Labels: 슈퍼주니어

..... .. ..... 9:17:00 AM;

Monday, December 21, 2009

Hannie.

I am crossing my fingers not to see emo cyworld entries from the prettyboy. If he could had blogged happy thoughts about the 9 pairs of skinny legs, I think 2009 wouldn't end this way.

this is insane.
but I don't care.

I was just telling myself how much you are shining when speaking in our common language. You amaze me with the random sprouts of ballet, ramen and leaderish syndromes.

Don't let us go, please.

Labels: photos, 슈퍼주니어

..... .. ..... 3:26:00 PM;

*press repeat button*

:p
♥

Labels: photos, 슈퍼주니어

..... .. ..... 2:27:00 PM;

“Even sinners love those who love them.”

-Luke 6:32

I might move.
1755 since the start.

..... .. ..... 11:00:00 AM;

Sunday, December 20, 2009

and hanging around those who can break me. whenever i speak of them, it tears me into millions of tiny pieces.

yet I hold on, cause they mean much more than they would allow. more than what a mere heart could allow.

such a typical soul, handing one's heart over in a silver platter and believing that you'd hold it tight and keep it warm.

most of the times i wonder where does the strength to carry on comes, through the invisible sheets of truth, lies and passing fantasies.

it was everything, and more.
and it hurts like everything and more.

..... .. ..... 2:13:00 AM;

Saturday, December 19, 2009

有时候
我看得到你的身影

淡淡的

Labels: photos

..... .. ..... 11:38:00 PM;

I dreamt of 26th, min, sam, mama, wendy, carlos and everyone else. and lots of crying and hugging and insane drinking.

It is scary.

..... .. ..... 4:33:00 PM;

Friday, December 18, 2009

I wonder if the germs can sustain itself until Monday. I WANNA GET MC LOR FUCK.

Am at MOF now... waiting for Maybelline and Samantha... it's such a rare occasion that I'm shuper early. Actually could had knocked off at... 3pm? sighhh....

Body is aching and warm... Do you think eating sushi will get it worse?

I attempted to intro ahtan to SJ-M just now... She was slightly impressed that how... ~~ugly~~ unique mimi was... hahahaha~ Kyu keeps saying bak tor yao and hae keeps saying 亲爱的宝贝们... How adorable is that LAH!!! :D

I'm sprouting rubbish as usual... They are not here yet... ughs.

Labels: 슈퍼주니어

..... .. ..... 7:09:00 PM;

还有那么多我们爱过的
千言萬語, 化為沉默

..... .. ..... 5:01:00 PM;

why we love when all is naught and have faith in the most dire situations and feel the need to offer a hug and want to hold your hand even if it bleeds my life and passion away.

And there's always a reason.
it is not that simple. or it's more simple than it really seems.

Labels: photos, 슈퍼주니어

..... .. ..... 2:08:00 AM;

Thursday, December 17, 2009

- Nanjing SS2

Attack of the colorful skinnies and grabby hands :D

Labels: photos, 슈퍼주니어

..... .. ..... 12:05:00 PM;

Tuesday, December 15, 2009

"and what does your heart call me?"

http://coley-merrin.livejournal.com/357039.html#cutid1

..... .. ..... 5:18:00 PM;

Monday, December 14, 2009

Maybe it's the weird xmas atmosphere or whatever shit it is.

I have REALLY RANDOM PEOPLE talking to me.

conclusion is;
my heart is quite strong.

..... .. ..... 12:58:00 AM;

Sunday, December 13, 2009

"Like the Ferris Wheel that is featured prominently throughout the anime, Honey & Clover is basically implying that life goes on, up and down, up and down, but it would be better to ride it out with cherished memories made with friends and loved ones. And to treasure those memories forever."

Labels: 蜂蜜幸運草, 請說

..... .. ..... 3:52:00 AM;

Thursday, December 10, 2009

我梦见你的轻声细语
I wanted to ask you how she looked when she comes... Is she pretty? You've fucked her afterall right?
-

就像他说的
温柔而残暴的

..... .. ..... 1:30:00 PM;

repeated softly: I would hold yours if you would hold mine.

Labels: photos, 슈퍼주니어

..... .. ..... 1:19:00 PM;

4:15am on a work day during the most xiong week of the month - reporting week.

This is insane.
My hormones are fucked up.

..... .. ..... 4:16:00 AM;

Wednesday, December 09, 2009

I am confused... I don't know the answer anymore.

..... .. ..... 11:52:00 AM;

stolen from jungsu...

I would hold yours if you would hold mine...

Labels: photos

..... .. ..... 12:49:00 AM;

Tuesday, December 08, 2009

*press button to set on repeat mode*

It's reporting week and I think my menses are coming. I need to be happier. Pardon me if I were to feed you rubbish.

Labels: photos, 슈퍼주니어

..... .. ..... 1:41:00 AM;

Monday, December 07, 2009

stolen from jungsu...

He is right.

We are all waiting.

Labels: photos

..... .. ..... 8:02:00 PM;

Sunday, December 06, 2009

It feels that relationships are measured in dollars, cents and favors.

..... .. ..... 2:55:00 PM;

It's not much of a secret but, dearest, you'd always be my first favorite.

Thank you for being there when I had to run, or prepared to, or tempted to, or when no one else did. It's much easier to believe in you, and the lies or beautiful words you weave effortlessly.

Amazed and Amazing and Amazingly.

诞生日快乐 (:

Labels: 五月天

..... .. ..... 1:41:00 PM;

IM FREAKING DOING THE SAME THING!! XD

Labels: photos, 슈퍼주니어

..... .. ..... 2:07:00 AM;

Wednesday, December 02, 2009

I was working and he distracted me with his erection. HAHAHAHAH.

SUNGMINAHHHH. How more obvious can it get?! XD

Girls, don't tell me the pornreading has gotten to my head. *points at picture* he is one MAJOR MAJOR distraction okay. Despite his fugly hair.... MY ATTENTION HAS NOT WANED.

Side note.

This morning I dreamt of Wilson kor, wearing this shirt which neckline (smexy shirt thou) is nearing his belly button, with lotsa facial hair and LOTSA chest hair. eww. major major eew-ness. Wilson kor is not remotely hairy in person. It was so tramatizing that I had to msn him to tell him of the dream.

Back to the main topic.

OMGGGGGG. SUNGMINAHHHHHH.
*covers the head and points repeatedly at THE FREAKING PANTS*

Labels: photos, 슈퍼주니어

..... .. ..... 11:23:00 PM;

Tuesday, December 01, 2009

"I’d like to love someone some day. I think we all do. It would seem so easy, but it’s the most painful thing, to drag someone through the mud with us. Still, we can’t help but want it. I can’t help but want it."
- credits to author.

..... .. ..... 11:28:00 PM;

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