finally... my 50th post. present for the world. anybody who needs a cry? mayb tis will make u... mayb it'll not... im not sure... whether if u'll feel the same way like me. but... watever... world peace. isnt it? from imagine by john lennon: you may say im a dreamer... but im not the only one. =D
link [http://home.hkhs.hcc.edu.tw/~s210081/mvs.3cc.cc@Ayeh.cc@10-29@/mvs.3cc.cc.mpg]
happy 50th post orh!

juz nw was watchin ge dou tian wang... mmm... even though duan yan hao is the baddie. i sumhow like the way his person is. at least in the show when he's with xiao qui. sumhow much more exciting than duan yu qiao and ye you li. sumhow all the others as compared to them both seems much more boring... hehehe... yep. his methods are very much x-treme. but... like dat den guo ying mah! isnt it? cuz during the past sumhow all the baddies like the DMS's mother in metor garden and all... sumhow as compared to duan yen hao in ge dou... haha... all lose out liaox. werid hun? and... juz now tot of wad i read about the lyrics of ai aing wan shui recently. anybody heard of ai qing wan shui? in english... the title i heard wad viva love. dun ask me y its call tis. anyway... the lyrics... somehow abit poetic...

link [http://mp3.baidu.com/m?f=ms&rn=10&tn=baidump3lyric&ct=150994944&word=%CE%E5%D4%C2%CC%EC+%B0%AE%C7%E9%CD%F2%CB%EA&submit=%B0%D9%B6%C8%CB%D1%CB%F7&lm=-1]

就让我吻你吻你吻你直到天明
别再等待不曾降临的真理
黎明之前只要和你
尽情嬉戏

heez... i know sudden very werid tok bout tis... but wad i rem readin was... so fake rite. the lyrics, write until so nice and poetic. yet the only motive of it was to "pian ni shang chuang".... aka to cheat you onto bed lar... heez.... not everythings seems juz like wad it is isnt it? hai... even though i muz admit tis wad the song which attracted me to like his way of performing. you dun even need to know wad he's doin or singin... juz look at his body and expression when he's singing... singin? mmm.... sometimes really not like it... dunnoe hw to describe. when the music comes along... like cannot control urself anymore... juz... hai... cannot express myself clearly... will try next time... bye...
p.s i dunnoe id aftermath of dammit serious cold or wat.. my right eye keeps tearing for no reason... dangerous ar... shld i go see a doc?

juz wanted to blog abit be4 sleep... been sick the whole day. slight fever and dammit serious sorethroat... the type which u'll get free running nose and burning throat along with... yep... haiz.... tired sumore. but juz nw went dw to mi cousin house. they bought too much supper mah. with my ma, sis, sis.. the usual crowd at mi cousin house. belinda cousin n ningning aka char aka charmine aka lening. sandy cousin with her husband, wee kee. cyrstal cousin [their house], vince her husband and rachel lo. funny... juz call by name sudden muz type out all eng so funni. anyway... mian purpose of my entry now is...
the night... its beautiful isnt it? with a light breeze and so slient. mmm... beneath evertyhing. underground. music is produced every night. isnt it? usually the best parts of music are all done at night. even though muffled by walls and pillars... the sound of music, bass, guitar, piano, drums... can still touch so many others all over the world. hai.... beside this, juz wana say... y Ashin's cold ok liao now my turn izzit! haiyo...

normal stuff first: juz nw when out with yali n jiali. waa... they 2 suddenly becum so good friends. by the way.. jiali today [if u c tis... too bad lo... the most kenna beat by u again oni mah] waa... wear until... hehehe.... chio sia. okie... muz accept the fact that our jiali is becumin more and more womanly. but. wad shld i say leh... hai.... we had dinner at Shaw. den... watch all about love aka zai shuo yi qi wo ai ni by andy lau, ah sa n yang cai ni. mmm... okie oni ba. as to my movie standard. but. still muz say andy lau really... bu kui is ying di. love him or hate him... hehehe... even though i've heard many people can drop tears [in acting... call crying like abit fake] afterall... u see in actual fact y they can make themselves cry. hai... better dun watch too much of those behide the screen specials. hahaha... destroys the good image of certain things in ur mind. as for some things. it's always better to leave it the way it is. to be too overly persisitant. u may juz regret the results. isnt it? but... actually dint have so much gan xiang over da movie. i find last movie [oso andy lau; tong meng qi yuan] was much better. tat. shld have gotten some best award for make-up and stuff. yest. went out with sam n zy. zy? juz... changed? nah... she's still the same way she is. pple hate pple readin their blogs. worried bout things might juz make sum pple unhappy? hai. pai tuo. if so worried den dun put blog le orh... hai..... anyway. if zy ur going to read this. love tis kind of thing. isnt it... juz if ur comfortable with it, happy with it... other things really doesnt matter much. im not saying u can juz live on love itself... but w/o it of cuz mentally... it'l b empty isnt so? watever others think. isnt really tat impt. afterall... it concerts the two of ur. friends this catergory of people... hai... i've said wats on my mind liaox.
other than tis... wait first. i rem sumthing. yep. i heard that... someobyd told me maybelline is afraid of me. yar... really im a very shi pai person isnt it? i dun even can kow the meaning of "best friend". isnt it... real life makes the term "best friends" suddenly so fake to me. if it really makes u very uncomforable... dun worry. i will juz let go. no... i will not juz let go. i will give up totally. i seem to be a person who can tok alot of shit isnt it? when one really feels empty... hai. u'll soon realize wad im saying is juz reapeated. and reapeated. like keep lying to myself. yep... u think its happy to juz live on tis way? ok ba... den juz let me continue. somethings... follow society's way of doing it. juz "let it rot" isnt it? wad i've learnt frm all aorund.
turn back. wat i wanted to say. i read abit of su ren zi pai today. recording seems to be a damm... diffcult? the tiring part seems more discouraging... lucky they had survived the process. sumore... i read alot bout doin "hou niao"... it juz another movie OST... soundtrack isnt it? people usually juz ignore all the other music except the theme song and sub-theme song isnt it? y a movie can be touching... not juz by theme or sub theme song... all the music backgrd... if not y its said music is a kind of languauge? p.s. music is really A language as recorded in history. back to topic... y i say this. cuz i heard one of the backgrd music. nah. i did not watch the moive or buy the OSt... but.. heard the reomo and juliet remix version... movie... is really a very special thing.
by the way. share something with all of ur:
不要纯粹为了反对而反对。请仔细聆听。不要还没听过就先拍桌子开骂。因为其中绝对会有某个部分感动你。音乐，他没有罪。。。
juz i dunnoe y... mayb u hate so artists or wad.. if it concerns music... pls use ur heart to listen. no matter who is the person singing it... a peice of music, does not juz can be accomplished by juz the person. behide hides all the work of so many people. musicians, tune, lryics, techinicians,guitarist,painist,drummer.... etc.... music... the fault does not lie with it.. like. even if i hate FIR for being so Fakey sumtimes. but have to admit that their music is really good. of cuz.. band or not band. rock or pop. even wad u call as bubble-gum pop music has it uses. mayb not to u. but mayb to another. think be4 opening ur mouth to critize. okie? pls orh... thaks so much...

u know wad im doin now mah? juz watched finished er mo zai sheng bian.... now... im alone at home. facing the computer... my background music is... mai lai luan... yep... with his voice... the brigde there.... hai... time, will juz let u get adjusted to loneliness isnt it? or did it... force u to get used to it? mmm... er mo zai sheng bian... nice one. even though i didt expect so many... erm... kissing scences... but was good. i like the story line. even though it's juz the basic storyline of traditional taiwanese ou xiang ju... but its good. promises and all... heard be4 someone said. y leh? y ou xiang ju, aka taiwanese idol drama. y so many people like to watch. cuz... mayb its juz a type of feeling eveyone yearn to have. mayb u dun think u do... but... mayb there is. hidden somwhere deep inside ur heart. always look on the bright side of life? mmm... heez... for all those who think u cant hold on any longer... never let go... u'll regret... when the day comes when u realize that all u've let go was too much and u can never find the kind of feeling back...

u know wad im doin now mah? juz watched finished er mo zai sheng bian.... now... im alone at home. facing the computer... my background music is... mai lai luan... yep... with his voice... the brigde there.... hai... time, will juz let u get adjusted to loneliness isnt it? or did it... force u to get used to it? mmm... er mo zai sheng bian... nice one. even though i didt expect so many... erm... kissing scences... but was good. i like the story line. even though it's juz the basic storyline of traditional taiwanese ou xiang ju... but its good. promises and all... heard be4 someone said. y leh? y ou xiang ju, aka taiwanese idol drama. y so many people like to watch. cuz... mayb its juz a type of feeling eveyone yearn to have. mayb u dun think u do... but... mayb there is. hidden somwhere deep inside ur heart. always look on the bright side of life? mmm... heez... for all those who think u cant hold on any longer... never let go... u'll regret... when the day comes when u realize that all u've let go was too much and u can never find the kind of feeling back...

tis was supposed to be a very very VERY unpleasent post... about friends and all. so... i guess things juz gets shorted out themselves? hai... like u always have to remind urself ur actually very blessed juz tat u dun realize it. however. after hearing so many times of pple [aka mayday included oso] saying / claimin tat ur zhi zu... come on.... bullshit may be a word too strong. but its not too over to say tat its a slap to ur face... are u really satisfied? no ba... bu yao shuo shuo er yi... be really so... if not the person really guilty would be no others but u urself. isnt it? feel like dying? mmm... something to cheer u up: link to sherry's blog... [haha... sherry ar! im featurin ur blog here] and the lastest post [timing nw: 1:37am 27oct05] got Cai tao Kway. yar... aka carrot cake but the the usual white or black one which u eat... is a cat lar... the hilirious GIF of CTK kenna pushed by somebody... okie lar... me bo liao. but go see no harm rite. sudden... hear yanming singin... tong ku de ren... y shld i be feelin so lang bei... so tired... wad im living for. has tis struck u be4? mayb nt now... but it will. someday. isnt it?thank kew tese for talking to me so long... soulmate... hai.... friends. suddenly. everything seems meaningless... are u... trying to force me to give up? or izzit u are goin to say tat. it juz me who has the feeling... or... u really cant feel it? hai...

harlo... been slacking today. been workin frm since last sun to yet... 8days... to speak the truth... i really dun feel much. tired? not much. except frm the monthly thingy which girls suffer frm... mentally? as wad GS has said.. the mental tiredness cannot be cured juz by resting... if it could... how nice would it be.. all my friends. where are all of ur? i miss ur all so much... free time i may not have much left... haiz.... if i were to say i dun hav much time left... mayb ur would juz feel im juz tokin nonsense again... pai tuo... please ar? i really miss all of ur. yes... i know ur all busy. very busy rite? i know... juz tat subconciously i dun want to be understanding... haiz... life isnt it? humans are all the same. blogs? meant to be read by all others? if there's no one really is that good? or on the other hand. if ur reading... hai... y nobody juz sned me and sms or watever or juz tag or wad... askin if im alrite? so u wan to heard the same old thing sint it? but the problem is that nobody believes it anyway mah... lyk... haiz.. tese juz said juz now on the phone tat really... on the surface may b very strong but... rem that humans mah... will always have the chance of breakin down... arhz... sleep ba!

sometimes.... many things are out of ur control.. watever that happens... we juz have to take it the way it is given to us... juz have to accept becuz tis the hard damm truth... really... we dont have a choice... do we?
okie... watever. but. today's my last day at the expo ITMA exibition. mmm... k lar... at least nice pple i met there... ignore the foriegn dedicates... im juz happy that i survived the whole thingy... people: honey, juliet, chewming, yvette, mr ng hock soon, alice, ian... all... thanks ar... i'll be back at expo! 10dec... hahaha.... mayday FH concert... i promised that i'll go back and kidnapp ian for his workin pass... hahaha... den can go backstage liaox.. hehehe... nice to hav worked at expo. at least now i know where's the back stage... and where they need to get out.. hahaha... and sumore. i know now. call cab, bookin fee is $4. $2 surcharge at expo. $1 for peak hours. and.... irritating on call taxis. maxi cab can take 6to7 pple, $35. those vans which can take up to 10+ pple is $40. presido is $35. but some of them go by meter.... hahaha.... taxi geinus liaox!

mmm.... readin of md in english... its not the first time im read tis web. found it about a yr ago... juz now had time to browse tru it again. found the english lyrics of john lennon... rem hw he died? rem the lyrics of John lennon?...

source MaydayBlue [http://www.globality.org/Mayday/MaydayBlueMain.html]

John Lennon
Music by Monster, lyrics by Masa and Ashin
Translation by Meredith Oyen
That year in winter, a bullet, it gave you freedom - no body, just living in people’s hearts
Looking at today, would you laugh or shake your head?
The whole world, once, dreamed with you,if today peace could still be found in a song
I wonder if the flames of war would still live on with us
Can you temporarily give your courage to me,when my dreams are about to fade away
Make my song have the strength to break through the heavens,let me be a hero for the people I love
How is it that a red bean wants to single-handedly shoulder the weight of the universe?
it's all your fault, you sowed these seeds in my heart
Take up one guitar and use it to protest countless bombs
Fun and games turns ugly, clamor from the film studio,
Monster and Stone are in the bathroom throwing up
Ok, let’s try it again, we want the world to be affected by us
Can you temporarily loan your courage to me,
when my dreams are about to fade away
Make my song have the strength to break through the heavens,
Let me be a hero for the people I love
Can you temporarily loan your dream to me,
when my courage is about to fail
One day I want the world to call me a Beatle;
in the end, even if I’m not successful,
I want to have had a beautiful dream

No regrets, just a beautiful dream

best suituation ever? mayb... music is the oni language which can bring peace... love? love cannot juz haapen by playing the music... where there's no conbination of actions and emotions... everything is juz worthless... isnt it? amazing that small little details when presented in eng... it can be so different... read til all my goosebumps all come out... chinese lyrics? wait ba... i go find... as to how john lennon died? yar... he was killed by a bullet... its the truth... haiz...

Juz few days no news of them sudden this? :
ppt nicknames:
balaja : guai shou
masage : masa
plumage : stone
vanhalan : Ashin

yanming hardly ever goes online...


i've realized that... some of it can see.. and some cannot...

link: [http://maydaysg.suddenlaunch2.com/index.cgi?action=display&board=Latestnews&num=1080824432&start=0 ]

Source [mdmd forum. ppt. imayday]

作者 balaja (?王小孩)
看板 MayDay
?? ?事的,??在意
?? Thu Apr 1 03:47:36 2004
─────────────────
五月天一直把ptt上的各位?成朋友
一路走?好?年了
朋友有?多有?少
但?大家一定要?住
我?都很珍惜?一切

有些事我跟阿信??了很久
?定?是先跟在??的大家??比?好
?在的五月天??感到?力感
身?的疲累是可以?得?去
但心理疲累的累?已?慢慢在?酵
所以我??定 ?一?子後
把?在已??定的一些工作做完後
大家再度地各奔?西
也就是?我???限期休?
???,?事的
?不代表什?
希望大家之後仍然要勇敢地面?自己的人生
也?我??再聚首
也?不?
但?大家?忘了我?曾一起走?的
我?仍然?是一直在cd?面陪著大家

?在的我有?激?
再也?不出什?了
先跟大家宣布?件事
之後?????一??地?跟大家?明

love & peace, monster


作者 plumage (午夜?行)
看板 TuTsau_
?? 沉默的表示
?? Thu Apr 1 16:08:04 2004
─────────────

?了??的道路......



作者 masage (垃圾)
看板 TuTsau_
?? 由衷的感?
?? Thu Apr 1 16:18:44 2004
────────────────

?於?是到了??我?不得不面?的?候
............

????一?沉重而冗?的??
?了每?人的??
我?只好做下??沉痛的?定

??大家?年?的支持和鼓?

音?不是人生唯一的道路
??也不是我?的??

再多的鞠躬也??法表?我?的歉意跟感?
即使是?票也改?不了?多既定的?果

公司尊重我?的?定
所以不????的部份追究

??的?是??
??大家

明天各大??有??的?明.....
原因及??就不?述
??......


作者 vanhalan(?？?是看？)
?? ?戴上耳?那一?那
?? Thu Apr 1 19：12：10 2004
????????????????
??了身後大音量的吉他音箱
??了很多人在你身旁一同唱歌
何?才能再起耳?享受?於自己的一天

我?起耳?
是的
只剩我一?人

那是Beatles的Long and winding road

??也不?吧
我想


Mayday? finished? forever gone into history ar? as following the fates of bands like beatles and beyond... the end is always breaking up? mmm... read on pls...


作者: masage (垃圾)
看板: MayDay??: 再一次由衷的感?
??: Fri Apr 2 00:11:01 2004
------------------------------------

好了
我休息?了
??大家的?心
明天照常上班上?


作者: vanhalen (?？?是看？)
看板: MayDay
??: 歌?完了
??: Fri Apr 2 00:25:44 2004

歌?完了
?池也??了

休息?了吧

--
如果我?法??
音??是我唯一的?言


作者: plumage (午夜?行)
看板: MayDay
??: 很累?...
??: Fri Apr 2 01:47:30 2004

?好今天要休?

?果?是一整天在?音

?什???子...下次?休?我再也不相信了啊...

??大家今天的笑?眼?!
五月天五?年第五???"任意?"火?打造中!...


dont get it? last yr april fool joke by mayday... mayb... mayday is more kiam pa than 56... all the while i've been wrong... wat the,... got the SHOCK of my life when i read wad they wrote at first... waa... the heart can really stop beating... lucky my heart was strong enuf... almost... it was by an inch close my heart stop beating.... mayday arh!!!! bo liao ar... people around them muz hav really strong hearts ar... if not cannot tahan so long... really peifu shijie... they played the same joke to him... wat the~! overly high... arhz....
yest was abit better. at least we dint get scolded. work work work... job job job... haiz.... i prefer exibitions to bein promoter... siao rite? since promoter can slack more izzit? to me... wat the cow... at least exibitions im more at ease... less stress to me... how to not be stresed when ur like a blur queen durin ur job... ask me promote? wat the... dun even know my stuff how to promote de?! make up i still can... red earth? dunnoe leh... dun ask me... not im not goin for s'pore melody awards. nobody pei me go mah.. forget it... maybe... i shld really let go hun? youth... yikes. if i let go of mayday... seems tat not much things else i can hold on to... mmm... feel so empty. dunnoe wat im living for... haiz....

hey.... im back. been workin yest n today... freakin ass.... at expo for ITMS... someting close to tis lar... exibition for textiles, machinary n stuff... be4 u think im gettin hooked on for exibitions... yikes... let me tell u wad's tis time job's about: im incharged of this area, beside the mrt where there's an UNOFFICAL taxi stand. x-treme stupid thing is we mus hav somebody standing by the road to wave all the cabs in... imagine waving cabs for hundreds of people... dedicates... some are nice. some very high. some very tired. most? EXTREMELY PISSED OFF. wat the dammit hell ar... we are not, NOT from the taxi company leh! ask us go where ask all the taxis magically appear ar? siao ar... i hack u ar... if ur pissed off... so sorry ar... i cant help it... i think i was the only in the mood to smile at the angmohs, indians, japs, korean... while others are goin siao calling the cabs, i juz usher them in... hahaha... one of the lady frm the ic company at expo was tellin me to not scream at the taxi drivers. cuz i was knockin at the car window and screaming: UNCLE ARE U ON CALL AR?! i think all the uncles pissed off at me liao... so sorry ar... but its my job... cannot let the ppl up the cab den u dun wan to send them to the destinations... some cab drivers really.... they juz suddenly hike up the price... dun wan dun wan lar! aiyo... gt business oso dun wan. they charge the angmoh $10 over bucks for calling fee leh! its juz $4 oni... bluff whu ar... anyway... its juz 5days.. forget it....im not overly considerate... i juz dun wan to get scolded unneccessarly... esp when u work like hell and pple dun apperciate... juz becuz they cant get the suituation correct. even though its not alot of money... its still a job mah... cant imagine how many times u can be kenna scolded in one night. Meaning of customer service? haha... turn a deaf ear at the correct times... and... smile as if there's not tomolo...
last nite. class chalet... mmm... k lar... at costa sands... met shuhui den went. tat GILL ar.... owe me one BIG one... pple there: michelle. yiyan. darren n yinru. elyn. alfred. elieen and her ahboy. joel. shitian. iceman. shawn. gill. ivan. sophine. shuhui n me. wats chalet about? majong. dry gin. XO. satay. PS2. volka. chicken wings. otah. cake. bed. aircon. screaming. gassy drinks. oil. no sleep. stars. talk... play... basically, slack... but if ur there after work, u will really feel like dying... esp when u hav work the next day oso. the only thing i rem is the majong... hahaha... played for the whole nite mah! with sophine, shuhui n ivan... woa... really first time play over the nite... so song ar! hooked on... majong anybody ar? but sorry cannot gamble with money... sorry ar... policy ar... heard md confrim comin singapore golden melody awards... YIKES! go back taiwan n rest ar... stay there... come durin dec enuf le! stressed out sia... time for sleep...

to maybelline... pls hold on... no matter hw hard it is... rem if u feel the need to cry juz let everything out. we'll all be there juz a phone call away if u need any of us k? pls take care of urself k? be strong mentally AND physically okie?
mayb i juz makin a big fuss out of things... but... juz to be... u know.... im naggy yes i admit... but how many of ur really rem to take good care of urself? mmm.... on the surface it seems alrite bt actually cannot hang on any much longer. watever ur facing rem to calm down and think... being in a clear state of mind may be very painful... but... it will hurt more frm the consequences if u do w/o thinkin... everyone out there pls care more for urself... and make friends around u less worried. mayb to u it juz seems like nothing to b worried about... but u'll never know.... people are juz worried becuz they care... if u dont want the annoying care... oso no need to throw it back in the person's face de mah... when care is unrequitted... yikes. Yikes and. YIKES. mmm...
heard md is coming for singapore golden melody awards... PLS dun come ar.... rest is much more impt. we dun really care if ur are able to come... wat matters most is that ur are fine, rested and well... and sumore FH beijing is the next day! haiz... take care ar! later sick hw leh!
today... worked at carefour suntec. yup... mamy poko again. sumore the rain is so damm big and not much stock goin... diapers... pull up pants... yikes... im goin crazy seein the baby on the package again. 2m's work... at expo. yep. another exibition... textile de ba... machinary and all... with gill he oso workin with me. and a new friend i met tat day call honey. oso frm tp... waa... so many tp pple around the world. tat time IDA conference oso... mmm.... such a small world... the chalet's today nite... dint go cuz workin. rushin dw 2m nite... mmm... tired.... haven used so much energy since md's departure...

freaking ass.... im goin to sell pamers tomolo again! wtf... luckily its at suntec. kick her butt lar... always find all the werid werid timing de. yup yup... im still slacking totally at hm with onthing to do. but... next week chalet plus work... yikes yikes and... YIKES. julian ar! since when izzit you can chose when u want to b busy de ar. hai hai haiz.... oh yar. go read sk's blog and the comments for that post. GO AND READ. freak ou freak out ba... yup. wat if i cant accomplish anything in my life? so... i should juz go and die lar. den... many people need to go and die oso ba. izzit so? heheez.... people who are workin- jiali. shuhui. ivan. me? eh.... no more rite? people all rotting... oh yar... AND MAYBELLINE OSO WORKING AR! everyone keep jiayou-ing orh. go and watch mai lai luan mv ba....

wat kind of illness... has symptoms of wanting to vomit when too high and sleep whenever u get the chance. and suffer from extreme mood swings. and bad tempered. and... the mind is always blank. maybelline! how ar? its not symptoms of post mayday sydrome tat easy... hahahaha.... i saw sk's blog. haiz... want to come back to the same subject izzit? friends? like... no matter how long u've been friends... y people always act [or izzit frm their heart ar?] as if... how to say? some stuff are really not very important... aiya. forget it. im so dammit confused. yep. i admit tat im bad tempered, self-centred, and suffer frm extreme mood swings. izzit PMS ar? mmm... but... say something very selfish. i suddenly tot of tat... yar. when one is sad n down, u tend to say very over stuff and drag up all ur expectionations of ur friends. but... haiz. frm the point of view of me who is suffering frm [mayb] pms, post md depression or watever... i dun seem to see anyone caring or askin hey... are u really alrite. people juz take it as wad it is... and. haiz... where is everyone when i need a ear or a hand... does not help rite? no matter how LOUDLY i call for help in the end everybody juz ignores and.... tink im juz like tis and will pass... watever... mmm.... everybody seems to be very busy with their own life. and askin me to GET A LIFE. aiyo aiyo AIYO. suddenly dun wish to be a nice person. since. if ur nice nobody apperciates it n if ur bad nobody rems u. wat diff does it makes? no diff rite? mmm.... mmmm.....
yest md was on tv. lian tuan. practice for shanghai FH. waa... they goin sing ye man you xi. actually does not matter. afterall... we're goin c them anyway. hehehe... jolin or no jolin or fish or yanzi or energy. mayday is the main thing mah. even if they're not... we'll make them. like last time the alive concert liddat.

when i turn right. i see troubles waiting to be solved. when i turn left i see... matters which seemed to be solved... but is not so. when i look infront i see no future, none at all cuz... there is juz nothing there. when i try to run away backwards, its blocked cuz it has juz simply dissappeared, whether somebody has taken it away or not im not very sure. if ur goin to say its juz all my imagination den forget it. if u juz want me to blame it on mayday so sorry i cant do it becuz if where not they mayb... there's nothin much more to believe in else... haiz... if im goin say i juz found out i failed my dcnk sub u'll think it's juz results makin me sad... i wonder whether its tat simple. nothing ever seems simple anymore. so confusing and all... haiz... like in a puddle cannot get out. when u clear ur mind dun clear it too much cuz it might juz never return.
放空太多结果再也收不回来了。。。
如果我。 再也不。不能在更多的承受。。。。。。。。。

happy thing first? mmm... i got my photo with shijie. and maybelline say he's shuai. i said tis in the previous post rite? hehehe.... mmm.. tody went out to sing k with sufen n sherry. den. went interview for this job at expo. exibition stuff again ar. sianx. but... interview was like. err... tok bout ur experiences at customer service and y do u think we shld hire u. in front of like... 13 other person man! wat the... i tink oni my attutide was abit hack hack liddat... cuz the others were damm serious. sumore there was this gal. keep tokin n tokin like afraid that the job wunt be hers liddat. say wad... err... leader of student council... bah bah bah n stuff.. we the other was like... -_-lll no juz me ar... heez.... but still. admire her courage. cuz service? approach them be4 they hav chance to ask. izzit? watever. cut off frm tis. as for sadded stuff: sk thingy bout the bbq. asshole. first time so very dammit pissed off at her til really... wanna juz break off the friendship. money mah. u dun say clarly hw to ask me tell the others when they ask. sumore im not juz unreasonably askin for the reciept. i haven scream at u, u start to be pissed off. walau eh. if ur juz in a bad mood i can understand. but... frm tat day bad mood at me to today. expect pple to smile at u when ur slappin them in the face meh. wat the cow. i really hor. [scratch head leh] dunnoe wat the hell's up with her. when u really want to talk nicely den she sudden give u tat kind of attutide... ur fire oso come up ar. bear with it? there's a limit. since ppl always think. nevermind mah. i always fare up. den juz let me be. wat the. juz nt in the mood to be nice.
dunnoe since when. i think since sk treated me that way tat day. sumore frm the outcome of the bbq. juz like somebody gave u a very hard push to ur head ask u to wake up. izzit tis? when the world juz behaves like tis way. when people are not nice to u. dun b nice back. juz give in return wat the person is giving u. im goin crazy men. izzit really how life shld be? no love... no care no nothing. oh... i rem.... im not the only one feeling this. sumore. the fact is many ppl are feeling love in the world. i feel so happy for them. i feel... so fake... and sick of myself. gave up believin in something today... mmm...

juz now watched shen de hai zi's VCD again. mmm... they seem to look better when they're juz themselves. n... i saw guai shou's QnA part3. he very eng hor?!! even one day at m'sia he got time to do it. sumore... haiz... never did mention bout s'pore at all. except rebuttin sumbody for havin the info tat they're still at s'pore. mmm... izzit that we too guai so they take it for granted ar? i hav tot of it be4. like... calm-est fans in history.least we dun grab their skirts... hahaha. this's y feel so proud. we zhi zu mah. even though we know we get every little but... we are satisfied. for me at least. signature? no need. they signed for me oreadi.pic? mmm... no need ba? y go airport ar? mmm... juz to see if they're fine. lame excuse? mayb ba. for people who are so STRESSED now. pls rem to hold on cuz no matter hw hard it is it would pass. no matter how. stress, u can push it away. urself. when many things needs to be added to consideration. u may say wad i wrote is shit. but... relax. the world is not goin to change so easily. after sunset it would be nite. but it also means ur goin to see the sun in juz a couple more hours. mmm.... be patient k? hold on. since im so free. im goio to type alot today. bout shijie? hehehe...

juz... read peirong's blog. but i never left any comments or tag her. mmm.... cuz juz find it interesting to read about how another someone feels about mayday. isnt it? my com has suddenly become very weird... slow ar. watever. mayb its juz tat Ashin's juz plain tired. from havin to keep up all the appearances? mmm... now. when i watch the tv. i very much prefer the mayday there. juz. they sumhow y... seemed more real. mayb. more relaxed. no need to rush like hell. like even durin the worse promo peroid they oso quite relaxed. sumore can joke around. not like when they tour. tired like... esp tis time's FH tour. so so tiring. isnt it? s'pore. m'sia. shanghai. bejing. sumore more from time to time go back taiwan. even though taiwan promo period is over. but still have the 101 event rite? tiring isnt it? haiz... mayb its not post depression. is juz... feeling empty.like. after them, everything juz goes back to normal. the waiting. sumore is after they leave. the waiting suddenly... u are lost. like... forgot... wad are u waiting for. like.. meaningless. im now hearing i love u bo bang. my come. i cannot stand liaoz. continue 2m ba. mayday... jiayou orh...

hiya.... im back. frm the airport. i took photo with shi jie! =D he one person carry so many lugguge... so poor thing. i walked beside him all the way... so afraid something will crash down... woa. dangerous. one of the box was piled so high tat he was using his face to stop it frm falling down. i now understand by wad peirong say by so many lugguge. mmm.... guai shou n shi tou walked behide me actually. den i stopped n tried... TRIED... to take photos. aiya! i give up on my dammit camera~! can oni take video. photos? arHz........ but. they were all in quite a good mood. like masa was still drinkin i dunnoe wad... but he was so happie. smile n smile. yanming ar! sooo cute.... hehehe... he keep playin with the greenish thingy which can make the duckie sound. CUTE! and he still... u know. face us and wave with the duckie thing. and masa was takin photos of everyone else. haha... guai shou... sit on the trolley and yawn... tired oreadi bah. til now never tok bout HIM... our dear wang zi aka prince of mayday, chen Shin Hong, Ashin rite? [my ma ask me who is the prince i was tokin bout... still got whu leh? him loh. like wsa guai shou n all always call him] budden.... he seemed very loney today... cuz... u know we're nt the usual kind who SCREAM at the airport u know. nah... den sumore... when Ashin walked frm outside to the check-in counter... waa... oni a fews pple straying around him. very few... haiz. de he walked very fast and straight to the checkin counter beside the actual one n stand there. all the time. never turn n smile or yawn or wat... haiz... depression strikes Ashin... cuz he realized suddenly y like... u know... hehehe.... bu yong dan xin lar! we will ting ni all the same. =D den... okie loh. they go in. we say bye bye. BUT. BUT. i dint paste myself at the glass screen and wave at them. i rushed back n... saw ninchan oso ther still at the checkin counter... still got wad? SHIJIE! hahaha... ninchan ask him to sign on the photo they took yest mah. den gang hao zhang lao shi's face was behide. HE ar... really... signed on zhang lao shi's face.... hahahaha... and ar. I TOOK PHOTO WITH HIM ORH! =D i made 3 new friends today at the airport. them. first time. bt has liked them very long. mmm.... hehehehe.... mayday crash course for them juz now. bout guai shou mama, to Ashin rumored GF dan dan, to shi jie and or whole ji shi tuan. hahahaha... fun ar. and... introduced mayday to one family and one uncle. and sumore i still told the uncle who's playin the guitars, bass, drums and the lead singer! and i never stammer! hahahaha... power of music. i forgot wad i wanted to write... haiz...
question of the day:
defination of feng kuang?
mmm.... those who read... PLEASE GIVE ME AN ANSWER!

aftermath....
empty? i dunnoe ar... no yet ba. mayb 2m? hehehe... i have no idea now. cuz... waa... within 10hrs im back to post... i oni slept for like... 3hrs. selpt at 3 and woke up at 6... feel like dying ar... den went back to sleep... but... u know... like totally no sue. 6.35am... mmm.... when bathin tis mornin i dicovered a very obvious bruise on my left leg! no idea where i got it... ochard ar? mayb... hahaha... me. seems to very unsatisfied with life hor? like.. never enuf. or izzit really? one thing i confirmed hav learnt frm my 16yrs of life is that... many things are really not as wad it seems. usually... alot of hidden truths underneath. im now listenin to luan shi fu sheng. life. like a cirus? mmm.... juz leave urself to fate right? for me, so blind... i wunt even notice it if it's juz beside me. sadded ar? hehe... wo hao xiang hao xiang fei... li kai zhe ke feng kuang shi jie. waa... now change to mai lai luan le. yup. i never been in love before. but ask me why hear mai lai luan can cry like... first is the music. and durin taipei juz my pride concert. the expression from Ashin when he sang... when i dint even know what he was singing. but still... seemed very painful right? like as if... mmm.... haiz.... er wo zhi dao the MV. at 17. im goin to be 17 soon. yet... my life is still as empty as before. no goals. no dreams. dream? marry Ashin meh? pls... unrealistic and NOT goin to happen right? mayday. i not god. is not perfect. mayday is... juz mayday. however. come back to the fact. different things hold different meanings to people. to me? i discovered another truth bout them. mayday? my way of wasting my youth. hehehe... at least. left something i could be proud of when i turned 17 right? before i turned 17. i'll will haved watched final home. mayb... lotsa of maybs in life. i will regret or nt? mmm.... ask me again ba. for people who are like sk who probably will react Scarasticly after readin.... like duan yan hao told xiao kui. really mah? everybody on the outside juz seems to care about u... but do they really? mmm...

source: forum, JY [http://28degree.fotki.com/may_day/]
my own photos are like... shit... haven uploaded yet. will. after they.. u know....
super funkies
mediacorp studios... hosted by jue dui superstar finalists. others than this i dunnoe anymore thing bout it. neither did i watch jue dui superstar. i juz havn gotten many sms-es about who won n all.... however. somthing happened. we shocked all the super stars and all their FCs... hahaha... me xplain: recording supposing start at 7. but everyone.... except their FCs was late. hello? all we md fans rushed down frm J8 loh. expect us to fly ar? we took cab even. anyway, they started to rubbish around... tok bout dunnoe wad things. but... im proud of md fans. we, can beat them all. without any instruments juz by usin our voice. we roxs man. scream like as if there's no 2m. no... til now i have not bathed yet. smelly yar i know. sumore... who want to shake my hand ar? hehehe.... i shaked their hand twice today... left hand. hahaha... and gave lotsa thank u in return. back to the subject. bout 1hr of them playing lame games n all [note: they have NOT even started recording] shi jie n zhang lao shi appeared. we, all. suddenly started cheering and screamin. hahaha... the superstars tot we tot mayday come liao so too high. they keep sayin: no lar. haven come yet. wat the... the screams are for shijie n zhang lao shi. hehehee.... and. when shijie was doin the drums. we decided.. to scream his name. but... as the polite fans we are, we dint interupt their talking. until. ya guan's music came out for shijie to test the drums... hahaha... den we started singin. after that we screamed [woa.. im so proud of it.] "shi jie, shuai ar!" hahahaha.... imagine all the superstars ALL kenna SHOCKED. who is this shijie. den they looked back and saw shijie waving to us at the drums there... we really shocked them there. thanks to shijie... but... as compared to zhang lao shi when we screamed "zhang lao shi, ni hao Cool" and his no reaction. aiyo.... can see y we all love shijie so much. super... so feng guang ar?
my POVs?
mmm.... mayday... live, is the best. first hand reactions... and... of cuz.... the tirdness we can also feel it.... hope they can hang on ar... at least til now... even though after sayin all those and recievin buckets of cold water beenin dumped over my head... yes. i really hope... i can do it.... mayday. REAL. not fakey fakey... REAL. emotions n reactions. true from the heart. wonder mornin will they come here n eat bak ku teh or not... should i pass them a letter? no ba? haiz....

i have not bathed yet. no. im not juz back. i came back around 10pm... early ar? now is 11.35pm on my house com. mayday... mmm.... i juz want this to be the 1st post when maybelline changes my blog skin hahahaha....
Hello@ochard
reached bout 9am. hahaha... rain- the sure sign of Ashin and mayday... cuz Ashin is the rain boy mah. all his fault ar... hehehe.... whenever there's mayday, there would be rain... good fortune ar? big or small doesnt matter. watever. their plane was... 12pm BR225. so... bout bout 1 plus shi jie and zhang lao shi came. shi jie ar... yesh! him. [for those info u dun know whu's shi jie....he is the head for the techincians group... mayday's very own. he got a fan club no jokin... and he write and sings his own song... durin mayday's rehersals ar... hehee.... bascially he i s a very nice person.. and sumore seeing him is juz the warm up for mayday. as for his past deeds, i'l post again] he finally came ar! ever since jan's alive concert he never come liao. sumore... after our petition for Find no home... totally no response frm them [gai tian ar...]. for the various times md has been here, concerts by the bay n nkf... all he sent his bro, huang niu. pple find him shuai.. but to me as compared to shi jie... hehehe. okie. he did some stuff on the drums.... testing n all. guitars n bass was til very late den he n zhang lao shi started doin. rem... we screamed "shi jie ni hao shuai!" he sooo happy ar... hehehe... den pple was sayin we canot ignore zhang lao shi so we did it "zhang lao shi ni gen shuai!" shi jie's reaction? hahaha.... as us to shhhhhhnnnnnn....... hehehehehe... entertainment mah. 2.30pm md appeared on yes933... we were like.. hun? they're still on the way oni? budden straight after Ashin [he was the only tokin... others leh?] hanged the call, their bus appeared there... hahaha.... fast ar? shijie n zhang lao shi... woa pro ar. totally no afected by anything juz keep continue their job. den. ling zhi came.. tok bout the usualy stuff. warm up n all. scream scream n scream. den wat else. ask the singtel pple tok bout the ideas card. den. they appeared. waa... to me, i repeat, to me lar.... guai shou was like.... so happy ING. so ar. so very.... so happy keep fang dian to everyone. they sang: lian ai ING. luan shi fu sheng. zhi zu. ya guan. ting bu dao. YAR. THEY DID NOT SING MAI LAI LUAN. watever... i can wait til final home. live. den... intro. talk talk... bout which song they wanted most to be in the compliaton this time. wa. tat time suddenly struck me when i went on stage muz tell Ashin to sing wu nu during 10dec. and sumore tong ku de ren oso... hahaha... actually, mayday's he yin oso very good. back to the topic. Stone, wen rou. dint sing. Ashin, ren sheng hai hai. cuz he said if he said tis we surely clap. almost made him sing in hokien but. yes he did sing. the original version. the other 3... keep tokin between themselves! hahaha.... den.. yanming, gong lang. yup... sang... hehehe... guai shou. wad he sang ar... shit... somebody enlight me! masa.... jie wen zhong sheng ming. actually sounded more like we sing for him. yesh.... actually i admit there at ochard i was not very high. cuz. i was on the verge of vomiting cuz too full of water in my stomach. feel abit sick... so XTREMELY NERVIOUS be4 i when up on stage ar.... but. to Ashin i still rem to say. muz sing wu nu on 10dec orh. but the expression he gave me was like.... wat the.... thanks you to the other... til masa... i said my sis cannot come cuz she next day had exams. he said... jiao ta yao jia you orh. hehehe... nice. til the end his xing qing got become better ar. most memorable? masa's expression when ling zhi intro-ed them as ya zhou di yi tian tuan. like wad Ashin said. mayb both the mike n ling zhi was spies sent by 56... haha.... masa's expresion? [YIKES. hehehehe....]
J8
totally HIGH guo tou... suddenly lost control ar... like super KTV session. i was like... me n sufen was singin so loudly to the cd version when waitin. the queue... was a BIG mess... but... oh yar. i saw my tang jie and tang di... cousins frm my dad side. so hao lian pple oso? haiz... i was abit more shocked ar. sumore so zhun juz now ying woon [my other cousin frm my dad side. we closer ar.] did go. i think judging frm the the crazy singin stunt me n yijun did durin the queue.... they bound to have noticed us... hahaha... but very guo ying leh! esp singin to zong jie gu dan, MAI LAI LUAN, zhi ming yu chun jiao.... woa... super KTV. sumore. we not paiseh de leh! power when ur with mayday fans.... u wunt feel embarassed there.... hahaha.... no matter how loud u sing. hehehe.... i think by den i was abit too overly high liao. hehehe... after we took the poster we stood very near to the stage. den sudden stop signing... i think media take photo or wat. we screamed for yanming... he saw us. juz gave us a galance.. but was TO US... hehehe... i tink our loud singing oso attracted shi tou also... hahaha... sumore we even shaked the security guard's hand! haha... cuz i asked yijun really is want to shake shi jie's hand ar?... overly high. but. on stage: shi jie [arrangin the posters]. masa. guai shou. yanming. stone. Ashin. let me explain y yijun was standing behide me. cuz i said i'll help her tell guai shou she want to hug him. this proves im really OVERLY HIGH TAT TIME. shijie... when i reached him i said "sorry we too loud ar". he was like "hun?' den i lost control n spoke aibt louder... under curcumstances of being too high. i repeated my sentence to him. den told him thank you. den... SHAKED his hand... very hard sumore... hehehe.... den. masa. i told him my sis said thanks. i think he didt know wad i was saying... juz blur-ly answer orh. den. guai shou. after i shaked his hand... i spoke abit louder... again. that i "guai shou! she want to hug u can?" gua shou was like. shocked dio "hun?" den i still added: muz hug her ar! before proceddin to yanming... hahaha... super ar! i wonder where did i ever get the courage to say all those... i never did before. mayb was like wad sufen said. at least... leave something written on my youth. at least when i die, on my tombstone or wad can write... she was a super mayday fan. not the usual kind. but... very high can needed... hehehehe...
sumore... super funkies i'll write next post. shi jie ar! super... he's the most wei feng of all people... even more than mayday... we all roxs... depresion will kick in soon. so let me high now ba. thanks...

yesh yesh... bout the new blogskin rite... im thinkin of sumway to get rid of the giantic Ashin in the middle... okie lar. dun get it rite? haiz... feel as if im stealin frm someone else... sorry maybelline ar! not say its not nice ar... its very nice. really. juz tat. i can tolerate insults towards mayday juz like 56... depends on the person. if said by a person who really has no brains n he/she's purpose is juz to make u angry. y bother? if u think they are not up to ur standard... juz speak up. watever they are botherin u that much. juz say it. to my face not behide my back like a thief. if anything, while said and supported by evidence i will accept. even if its juz ur raving around juz becuz u find it fun to insult or hurt others by ur words purposely... watever... im not the usual fan around... everyone is different. to 56. to mayday. to wan yu. to shan wei. nah... except shanwei... dun bully him or i'll kick ur ass. for others... applies to my friends or anyone around me. come on. are u trying to be the imature adult? i dunnoe what has become to me. like suddenly somebody took a baseball bat and hit my head. suddenly im realizing the meaning of everything around me. like as if wad ur doin is juz sayin that... all the actions juz implies that i've been wrong all along. been wrong in believing that friends... the defination of friends i've learnt had been wrong. and tat... the world is really a dammit corrupted place where no love can surivie rite? nothing at all can survive cuz we're all goin to die someday n somehow. i believe this now rite. isnt it wat u wanted? cuz u never told me that i've changed... or watever. everthing juz happens for granted and... juz gets worse ar? suddenly so depressed rite? sam... how was the loner u've been? like wad i've said. and frm all ur blogs, zy, u, may, me, jk... so many many others.... everyone feels that Im the only one who has felt the real loneliness and pain so none of ur can be more true than me. everyone is feeling it. wake up wake up... ur not the only one. its the truth. when u scream out again pls spend double of the time caring for people around u. subconcious deression like wad i've said mah. tat day i dreamt i told guai shou to come n read my blog. i dunnoe y but i juz did. dreamt of it. mayb was becuz hear too much of tong ku de ren. jk leh? is he better? does he know im writing bout him in my blog? if i say. hey. somebody go tell him... aiya... later he come n kick me. will or not ar? shld we try tis? ok... the later the night it becomes... the more abursb i'l become. and the more spelling errors will appear cuz im typin faster and faster. Later got anyone can pei me go ochard library? please? mgs me ar k? nobody wld rite? haiz. juz nw wan yu gt them. felt that Ashin is more interested in sunyanzi than the crab leh. and masa is more interested in renfu. and stone wanted to be funny but i guess was too tired to do so. now they juz finished ba? no lar... so late liao. mayb juz reach da ji dui. haha.... how can be when autograph session starts at 9pm leh? die ar... so tiring. long entry rite? cuz im juz typin lotsa n lotsa rubbish. wonder anyone gt read or not... oh yar... guaishou n lin yi cheng was shootin the luan shi fu sheng MV. guai shou ar... when was hugging her to take photo... i sudden saw the "piao yi de yan shen". his eyes was like... darting everywhere... like goin to freak out soon. either this or very very enjoyin the process... hahahaha.... come n kick me ba. hardly u can see such blog entry frm sad to depressed to angry to numb to so happy de... KICK ME BA! hehehehehe...

sorry ar... im still posting at tis blog... yup... the new one is nice. MAYDAY MAYDAY oriented... hahaha... im not tat obessed with Ashin. sumore.... today when i was watching the mai lai luan MV on MTV channel... suddenly had diffculty breathing... really.... like as if ur choked or wat... after that... i sudden tot... y guai shou keep sayin Ashin is the wang zi. even other oso liddat. yep. as according to 5 mi [aka mayday fan-C] Ashin eludes a kind of... aura... of a prince. Got mah... k ba? yep... i agree to it partially... but... actually mayday the whole band does mah. not the "prince" type lah. but... u know... something special. weird to those who dunnoe. they juz find it weird ba? i mean pple like u whu are readin whu dun like mayday. like... juz 5guys can be wad. u know... sometimes really feel like askin them stop callin him wang zi. but... juz discovered most of we the fan-C tend to give him the spot of wang zi. even for pple who fav may be masa or guai shou or yanming or stone... he's juz the wang zi. the one who always appears with the suit coat n all. hehehe... pple... dun kick me. tis was suddenly wad i tot of when watchin the mv. CRIED... u know. shocked me abit cuz was not the first time i've seen the MV. shocked dao... when u see the MV u'll know ba. the power of music even if u dun understand what he's singing. yar... it leads me to believe he had to experience it to have abled to convey the depth of emotion. amazing ar... go and listen mai lai luan lar!
notice i never tok much bout other things like study? education.... part of debt to parents. dun agree? dun kick me. i said le mah... diff ppl study for diff purpose and hav diff motiviation for studyin. dun b surprised. u juz hav not discovered the truth beneath yet. after i go n read other pple's blog. made me rem wad one of my teacher said. blogs reflect a social problem. yuan lai... there's so many pple out there now who feel that their life is so lacking of love. LOve. lian ai? not juz tat. rem wad jared wrote on his table durin sec4. where is the love? <- it's juz here mah... love... mayb really like others had said. it has never left juz tat we never looked real closely. i may suffer frm depression. but afterall... depresion is sub-conciously mah. suddenly muz rem to stop and look around. things may not seem like what they are now. jealousy will suddenly spring out frm no where. esp after i heard pple tokin bout god-sis and god-bro's. shanwei said that day... god bro's? pls... for what the hell's sake. never heard of this song now let me sing to you: ai mei rang ren shou jin wei qu. nobody can save u if u never want to get out of it. when ppl tell u not to sink in tat much. oni u know it urself. nobody else can save u.
today when after the paper... i realized how much i had gotten used to being alone. so scary ar? to be able to get used to being with urself. u say its easy? really or nt? u never tried the real thing ar? mayb yes u've tried but at last... still found a somebody to be there to pei you. yes. stuborn im. rather have someone who totally hacks u. i prefer to suffer bein lonely. i may regret my words. okie... come kick me. ba....

lucky no one frm the forum know my blog... haha... at least to me i think not many ppl can accept my view on certain stuff.

like... whether they come or not... if i said they better dun come tis time... yes... i'll feel abit guilty. i oso wish that they have enuf rest. but alot of things... isnt it better if they can decide it for themself? to speak the truth really. when i saw SHIN's interview today on azio... i really felt how fortunate mayday was really.

to those who dun know.. u wunt get it. to be together from the start... like... as unstained as possible. sound idotic ar... but... get wad i tryin to say? to juz keep walking and not have sudden events.... not... AIYA! how to say.... when u listen u'l know. its juz a feeling which cannot be put into words.

when u always assumed that a band would juz do their own music and as THE rock band as ur image u can juz act as if the whole world owes u everything and smash the guitars bass drums watever. scream shout and act as if everything is in ur debt... ROCK band? screamin fans and smoking band members...

john lennon was a person i dint even know before masa... i still dunnoe how a kind of person he is. juz that every song. imgaine... imgaine peace in the world when there's no difference in religion or skin color... when everyone can embrace love... one song cannot represent how the composer is like. not even after hearing the whole album u can conclude how the composer should b like. but... each composion wld b part of the composer... when u hear it... be it that ur touched or angry or happy or... watever the emotions u are feeling. wat his voice is bringin to you. may not be 100% of him... but at least 0.0001% would be in him. mayday as how they are. o fortunate they can do all their own stuff. at least they experience much much so much more freedom that so many others.

like Ashin said today to ah ya. so much fortunate they would kee walking to this step while so many others had to give up or are still struggling... bubblegum pop... haiz... music is not at fault. who are you angry at? the music is not at fault. unless it hurts people by critizing wat they believe. i say again. the music is not at fault. if u need somebody to blame. blame the composer... [later Ashin come n kick me... aiyo...]

BUT.

the music is not at fault.

no matter how painful the emotions it may bring together with it. its still not a fault. ok. i know im talkin rubbish. i juz hope... during my youth everything would at least have a record. record of what im feeling. mayb after the next moment how i think will change. but at least for this moment it can remain like this.

another thing... if you think ur unimportant. think again. mayb the someone beside you is thinking this way. but it does not mean the world world is thinking this way. to you he may be juz be another person. but to another he may be the world. maybelline. unless ur EQ is really that low... which i dont think so. or that u dont want to face the truth. or... you juz are sick of toking to me. yes... rebutt me. like what you've said. if YOU DONT SAY IT OUT HOW WILL I KNOW? not to the someone...

tis is for MAYBELLINE. thanks ar... if u know her and happen to see this, pls convey it to her. thank you. for others who think im not a very good person. pls come and scold me thank you. im not like wad he will say. i accept ALL comements which are true from the heart. for the THE others... today i realized the meaning of friends has been complicated so much by some people. oh yar... mayb i'll start typing in chinese next time onwards. good idea?

lucky no one frm the forum know my blog... haha... at least to me i think not many ppl can accept my view on certain stuff. like... whether they come or not... if i said they better dun come tis time... yes... i'll feel abit guilty. i oso wish that they have enuf rest. but alot of things... isnt it better if they can decide it for themself? to speak the truth really. when i saw SHIN's interview today on azio... i really felt how fortunate mayday was really. to those who dun know.. u wunt get it. to be together from the start... like... as unstained as possible. sound idotic ar... but... get wad i tryin to say? to juz keep walking and not have sudden events.... not... AIYA! how to say.... when u listen u'l know. its juz a feeling which cannot be put into words. when u always assumed that a band would juz do their own music and as THE rock band as ur image u can juz act as if the whole world owes u everything and smash the guitars bass drums watever. scream shout and act as if everything is in ur debt... ROCK band? screamin fans and smoking band members... john lennon was a person i dint even know before masa... i still dunnoe how a kind of person he is. juz that every song. imgaine... imgaine peace in the world when there's no difference in religion or skin color... when everyone can embrace love... one song cannot represent how the composer is like. not even after hearing the whole album u can conclude how the composer should b like. but... each composion wld b part of the composer... when u hear it... be it that ur touched or angry or happy or... watever the emotions u are feeling. wat his voice is bringin to you. may not be 100% of him... but at least 0.0001% would be in him. mayday as how they are. o fortunate they can do all their own stuff. at least they experience much much so much more freedom that so many others. like Ashin said today to ah ya. so much fortunate they would kee walking to this step while so many others had to give up or are still struggling... bubblegum pop... haiz... music is not at fault. who are you angry at? the music is not at fault. unless it hurts people by critizing wat they believe. i say again. the music is not at fault. if u need somebody to blame. blame the composer... [later Ashin come n kick me... aiyo...] BUT.
the music is not at fault.
no matter how painful the emotions it may bring together with it. its still not a fault. ok. i know im talkin rubbish. i juz hope... during my youth everything would at least have a record. record of what im feeling. mayb after the next moment how i think will change. but at least for this moment it can remain like this.
another thing... if you think ur unimportant. think again. mayb the someone beside you is thinking this way. but it does not mean the world world is thinking this way. to you he may be juz be another person. but to another he may be the world. maybelline. unless ur EQ is really that low... which i dont think so. or that u dont want to face the truth. or... you juz are sick of toking to me. yes... rebutt me. like what you've said. if YOU DONT SAY IT OUT HOW WILL I KNOW? not to the someone... tis is for MAYBELLINE. thanks ar... if u know her and happen to see this, pls convey it to her. thank you. for others who think im not a very good person. pls come and scold me thank you. im not like wad he will say. i accept ALL comements which are true from the heart. for the THE others... today i realized the meaning of friends has been complicated so much by some people. oh yar... mayb i'll start typing in chinese next time onwards. good idea?

lucky no one frm the forum know my blog... haha... at least to me i think not many ppl can accept my view on certain stuff. like... whether they come or not... if i said they better dun come tis time... yes... i'll feel abit guilty. i oso wish that they have enuf rest. but alot of things... isnt it better if they can decide it for themself? to speak the truth really. when i saw SHIN's interview today on azio... i really felt how fortunate mayday was really. to those who dun know.. u wunt get it. to be together from the start... like... as unstained as possible. sound idotic ar... but... get wad i tryin to say? to juz keep walking and not have sudden events.... not... AIYA! how to say.... when u listen u'l know. its juz a feeling which cannot be put into words. when u always assumed that a band would juz do their own music and as THE rock band as ur image u can juz act as if the whole world owes u everything and smash the guitars bass drums watever. scream shout and act as if everything is in ur debt... ROCK band? screamin fans and smoking band members... john lennon was a person i dint even know before masa... i still dunnoe how a kind of person he is. juz that every song. imgaine... imgaine peace in the world when there's no difference in religion or skin color... when everyone can embrace love... one song cannot represent how the composer is like. not even after hearing the whole album u can conclude how the composer should b like. but... each composion wld b part of the composer... when u hear it... be it that ur touched or angry or happy or... watever the emotions u are feeling. wat his voice is bringin to you. may not be 100% of him... but at least 0.0001% would be in him. mayday as how they are. o fortunate they can do all their own stuff. at least they experience much much so much more freedom that so many others. like Ashin said today to ah ya. so much fortunate they would kee walking to this step while so many others had to give up or are still struggling... bubblegum pop... haiz... music is not at fault. who are you angry at? the music is not at fault. unless it hurts people by critizing wat they believe. i say again. the music is not at fault. if u need somebody to blame. blame the composer... [later Ashin come n kick me... aiyo...] BUT.
the music is not at fault.
no matter how painful the emotions it may bring together with it. its still not a fault. ok. i know im talkin rubbish. i juz hope... during my youth everything would at least have a record. record of what im feeling. mayb after the next moment how i think will change. but at least for this moment it can remain like this.
another thing... if you think ur unimportant. think again. mayb the someone beside you is thinking this way. but it does not mean the world world is thinking this way. to you he may be juz be another person. but to another he may be the world. maybelline. unless ur EQ is really that low... which i dont think so. or that u dont want to face the truth. or... you juz are sick of toking to me. yes... rebutt me. like what you've said. if YOU DONT SAY IT OUT HOW WILL I KNOW? not to the someone... tis is for MAYBELLINE. thanks ar... if u know her and happen to see this, pls convey it to her. thank you. for others who think im not a very good person. pls come and scold me thank you. im not like wad he will say. i accept ALL comements which are true from the heart. for the THE others... today i realized the meaning of friends has been complicated so much by some people. oh yar... mayb i'll start typing in chinese next time onwards. good idea?

11am-kBox.
went w jiali n bihui. i still think bihui can sing very well. as usual... sang those songs. not mayday crazy... but, u know. warm-up for sunday. haiz. but they gave us a very BIG room. the kind for 10+ pple de. watever
2.20pm-tong meng qi yuan
i guess. everyone's idea of ideal family is different. each family is diff. how each family bond or survive together is different. mayb to me now it may mean nothin or u'll juz say til when u're older u'll know. really? till when im older... how much? how much one can age in an instant. u'l never know right? when i was watchin... i wanted to tell him so much. no matter wad pls rem to treasure ur family. i dunnoe who are they or wat so ever. i jz believe that they stood by u whenever u need them. ok lar. not whenever u need them. watever... u really need them. jiayou... nobody can survive alone. when im saying this to you... i cant even make myself believe it. education is juz a duty to me. mayb after that... wad im supposed to do, to accomplish in my life would be done... and i can get on... juz... leave... isnt it so? for them. with me, its an addition to the voice. without me, they dint lose anything. cuz im sure in this owrld there are still... so many... would be proud of you all, an encourage u to move on. less with me. tats y i never left a letter. even i know he will read no matter wad. [believe me. He WILL read de.] but still... they can de. cuz... we believe in them. for me. im juz another passin phase in your life. mayb my part has oreadi ended before you even noticed it. dun worry. even if i make a noisy exit... you wunt even notice. as unimportant in y0ur life im.
6-ECP BBQ pit22
so is my fault lar. tat sk is angry with me again and i dunnoe the reason for watever she's angry at. sk ar... kick me. i know... sorry.... i dunt. i will never know being the way im. or... mayb was juz wad like i said to sufen n sherry. its juz the way u r? with me and jiali n pple cannot be happy. yes i know. not the CLICK of pple. yes... i know it i know. not the click. bo bian who ask i treat u as a friend so i ask u come. i dint say anything ar. but... if zhenxiang keep rebutting me juz now... i would hav really gladly knocked him with the glass bottle. i oreadi can c jiali oreadi burning going to scold F. not the usual jiali. u know de... she never fares up. yes. is my fault. forget. MAYBELLINE AR. Y DIDT U COME... I FELT LIKE DYING AR... esp when yali frm yesterday nite dint even pick up my call. yes i know she attachement very tired so is my fault wan to look for her right? yes... me me me... by the way. thanks to sufen n sherry's boss for driving me home. my ma tot it was my boyfriend. if it was jiu hao le! boyfriend ar... WHERE ARE YOU AR?!? when i finally meet u u're goin to get it frm me... aiya... make me wait so long.... haiz. im waiting. always waiting. always ready to runaway from tis crazy world. pls come and... take me away from it... thanks.

today i d/l a news video... is mayday, Ashin to be exact. is one of the tabloids frm long ago sayin that his family is frm the heads of the gangsters in taiwan. u know wad was the first feeling after seeing it? woa... Ashin tat time very shuai ar... hehehe.... but... it was so disrespectful when i saw one of the thing the people took. the pic frm the mag. it was taken during somebody's funeral. u know hor. if u are one of the close family u hav to wear the "brown custome" for the rutial. they took him wearing that leh! yar... shuai... but... was very very. so very disrespectful. really. somemore it was when during a sad time [sensitive sumore... no matter who the person was]. really.... tabloids. we fans dun even care y shld them. really... mayday shld all get married earlier.... SO STRESS SIA. okie. i know i bo liao write this type of thing. but, afterall... the oni thing i rem about him sayin, same as applies to me. hanging on to studying is a task, a debt u owe ur parents for bringing u up. to me.... meaning of education is always different to me. tats y always ppl complain to me they are havin stress studying or... they cant take the stress frm studying and they are afraid they cant make it. i can always be so confident you ALL can do it. im so sure. even believe it more that you are... cuz the reason u are studying are definately more meaningful den wad i hav. so... u can do it. i believe. if u do for the sake of doin... u wunt do it well. people... take a peek into my life ar. or... u never bothered to? juz read for the sake of readin. live for the sake of living. breathe for the sake of living on? or what? living on for what? to me im still searching. not its not mayday. mayday juz eases any pain during the path of searching for the meaning of living on. and... they are the people who provide the strength to hold on to continue. when its so tiring and nobody is so buzy finding their own... and ignore you. hahaha.... thinking of the expression of him makes me happy enuf. sumore... juz now i was toking to tese... thanks ar.. if u ever see this... friend....
this week POV of mr.fighting.
mmm.... this week xiao qui finding screamed at wei yin qi that she dint want juz to be his family or friend or not even sister. but... wei yin qi juz keeps running away. is he BLIND OR WHAT. dun he juz now... if u dun hold on... she can juz leave... how can u expect her to head back for you again n again?! but.... xiao qui juz does it rite? no matter wat... she'l be there for him.... wei yin qi: nao zhong! but. i muz admit that duan yan hao, being the baddie. i tink he's quite a person underneath. cuz when u see him juz how he handles the suituation. it may be extreme. but sometimes u really need to use extreme measures. at least.... he helped xiao qui say all the stuff to wei yin qi. and.... for wei yin qi. i muz admit wad he said at the scene at his house.... was rite... of cuz he knew what was happening... but... you wunt know hw painful to force urself forget all those u have seen... yes. it may be lying to urself... but.... at least in that way when we are together it wldnt be embarasing and.... i at least can live happier....

my blogger is in CHINESE again... arz... and the all the pop-up oso keep appearing. even if i hav the thingy to stop pop-ups. yikes.
the thing is. wad im so "excited" about. nobody has time for me. now. this time. when u finally have time for me. [sound like im very jian liddat....] we have nothing to talk about cuz wadever im tokin ur nt interested. and you dun wan to start a topic. and when u tok about sumthing finally [which most of ur usually dont at all...] u expect to get FULL 100% attention. yar... im the baddie. come kick my ass.
today exchanged my IDEAS card. the mayday one. poor mayday! their sechdule for the oni day in s'pore is like. AI-YO-WEI-A. Wat the hell. really so packed to the brim. i tink they dun even hav time for dinner or snack ar. want to kill ppl izzit rock records.... if liddat rather dun come... rest til s'pore final home den come perform. enuf time for rest and everything cum preparations. they dun even need warm up ar. every nite performing like mad. their sechdule: 7.8oct at taiwan gt performance and autographs sessions and stuff. den 9 comin s'pore. i tink is morni flight ar. sleep on plane again ar... so poor thing... haiz.... den whole day at s'pore packed. 2pm, Hello! @ochard. 5pm @ J8 for final home. 7pm @ mediacorp for recordin of super funkies. its a WOA. day.... sumore recording usually til 11pm+++ de. im nt worried how im goin get hm. more worried about how them goin to get their sleep. next day rush to m'sia. really.... this Asia FH tour is goin to strain them too much. imagine tat nov and dec all revolvin around china and s'pore, HK, m'sia.... aiyo.... TAKE A REST AR!!!!!!!!!!! take care of ur bodies.... if not... haiz....

World Crazy
Pinyin: Feng1 Kuang2 Shi4 Jie4
Lyrics by Ashin

If you express regret
Could everything go back to the past?
Remember how beautiful it was
Life is so humiliating
Why is this world
So full of people crying out?
I can't understand
And I don't want to understand


I yearn to fly
Running away from this crazy world
So bitter
So tired
So full of unexplained tears
I yearn to fly
Running away from this world
If it's you
Who discovers me
Don't retrieve me


Thinking of all night long
I can't remember your face
You're a kind of feeling
Written in a scene of summer night and gentle breeze
Like water, youth can't be regained
It disappears in the blink of an eye
I want to squander my youth
You'll spend your life regretting


I yearn to fly
Running away from this crazy world
So bitter
So tired
So full of unexplained tears
I yearn to fly
Running away from this world
If it's you
Who discovers me
Don't retrieve me

source:
http://www.globality.org/Mayday/Lyrics/WorldCrazy1.html

yes... i am so.......... i really want to scold it now. for, i had already a long time never used this word. I AM REALLY FUCK-ING-LY ANGRY. so ppl juz dun cherish right? is it that u never felt that u was so important in my life, or that u are not so important to me, or that im so NOT very important to you? people get tired. esp when im trying so hard to get near and you keep pushing people away from you. and in the end im always in the fault juz im the only one who cares whether we meet up or not to have lunch or to have a chat. it NEVER matters to you right. everytime also say " orh... ok loh". but you never really felt like coming right. oh yes... you really tried to come. TRIED. full stop. you are such a poor thing right? im always the bad person cuz others always say" nevermind lor. next time we surely will meet de". nevermind the petty yurong who always gets angry so angry that she is SOOO VERY VERY UNREASONABLY. yes im am that way. im juz tis way. people. have you ever knew the feeling to being slapped so many times and its SO VERY DAMMIT PAINFUL. yet everytime you will inch nearer to let her slap you right in the face harder and harder? yes. i am an Ass. so im doing this. juz to meet UP WITH A DEAR FRIEND. friend. FRIEND. you have to use all ways and stuff to BEG her to appear in frnt of you. when others doesnt even need to say the second time. my mother said why shld i behave like this towards my friends. like crawling on the floor like a dog juz to please them hun? i never complained hw some people treated me like.... but ur my friend. and you still could do this to me. when i need support nobody came to give me their hand. when i finally found one, they had to be critized like into shit by you all. silly and juz silly right? if you are true at heart i can feel it. but the problem is, are you? dont point fingers at me and scream you did not. i did not expect you all to worship them. so, i have to ask nicely lar? so i hearby ask nicely now.

can you be my rubbish bin for me to throw in all my problems and stuff into you when i need it?


yes. ask me to calm down. i, do not have a stable mentailty. since everyobdy thinks yurong mah. after she angry later jiu OK liao. some cuts. will be left deep in the heart forever. when there is a cut. i try harder to be a better friend. in return i get more cuts. nice bargain right?

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