So easily lost.









We always seem to be able to see others' faults, but not our own.

你会发现你会讶异
你会鼻酸你会流泪





太多虚伪情节的表面模糊陌生的眼




我最喜欢挑战孤独




泪为你坠了一千遍
我爱你却离你更远





爱是无辜的风筝 拉着最在乎的人
情已逝 我还在 注定一个人流浪

Labels: 另類詩人

My computer at home as broke down.
again.






I have an EXTREMELY busy week ahead of me.

And,
Im already quite tired.


gosh.

I am quite thoroughly disappointed.



Perhaps disappointment is the only thing which can save me from myself.
Too many expectations, too many disappointments.
It's because I understood, that's why I halted in my actions.
Paused.
Stopped.

In giving.



When all of you looked at me,
Expecting some kind of outburst or words from me,
I apologize for disappointing all of you.
Rather than an outburst, I chose to walk away.


When I walked away, my heart left faster than me.

When no one bothered to stop me, my heart went cold.

I am not angry at all.
I am merely disappointed.






Memories, afterall, would only be left as memories.









也許我在你們的人生里只不過是小小的配角
但你們曾是我生命里最重要的主角.
因為愛你們
因為堅持那份愛
我放棄了那麼多
放棄了童真
放棄了瀟灑
放棄了堅持
放棄了勇氣
放棄了呼吸

結果那些那麼重要
結果那些那麼真誠
結果那些那麼感動

不是不愛了
只不過是累了

Labels: 洋蔥

I bought an album which I had always wanted to buy today, and another magazine which I had wanted to get since I saw it.

An unexpected trip to meet jiali in town landed me these two items.




I am listening to the CD now.
If you manage to get on uncle Joseph's cab, ask him to play my CD and the first track which I am listening to now is the track which you'll get to hear.







When I sat in town's starbucks drinking the iced mocha today, many memories has rushed back into my mind.
Ochard mrt station's exit has already been closed and a new one has been opened.

Just like many exits in my life has closed, either temporary or for forever, and several new ones has opened for me.
I find myself missing alot things, simple things which many people hasn't realized to be of such precious value to me.



I remember, about a year ago, when all was well with my computer, the time when I was always been on msn, I had been chatting to this friend on the msn while being on the phone, suddenly, I halted in conversation for quite a time.

It was because hot tears had been streaming down my cheeks, rendering me speechless.

I remember my friend asking me, cause I had paused in my typing and all he could hear was the music from the background of my side.

It was Angel, from westlife.

If you browse back the imeem playlist for this blog, you'll be able to find this song.

I suppose he wasn't aware how affected I was at that point of time, or might had found me ridiculous, cause we lost contact soon after that.





When I was looking at the pictures which we took at the glasshouse some days ago, I had the sudden urge to read my archives, for the cny dinner we had last year.

Many thoughtful people unexpectedly turned up.

I remember Alfred following us all the way to chompchomp, just to have a drink before leaving. He was complaining that why the others are late. I suppose many didnt remember but he made an extra effort to go all the way just because we said it was an reunion dinner.

I remember that fateful conference we had on msn where we had discovered a giant crack in the onions.

I remember Matthew saying that he's innocent and I remember ham expressing her dislike for people who unknowingly got into our group.

I remember joel saying he's netural and Eileen was trying to argue back when yiyan and jit was retaliating back with quite angry words.

I remember me trying to calm everyone down, in the end becoming that I was scolded by everyone else.

I remember almost breaking down in front of the com during the mist of the conference cause I thought it was the end of our friendship.

I remember talking to yiyan on IT school's concourse and we described that the onion's situation at that point of time was like Tsunami cause there were so many unknown undercurrents.

I remember when going to Chimjes to drink during the first day of 2007 and jit got drunk and hid in the toliet and made me and leon freaking worried when all the while he only did fall asleep inside the toliet. I remember matthew smoking so much cause he was too freaking drunk that poor carrot had to follow around chimjes. I remember Eileen's friend who drank to much till his heart hurt. I remember shuhui sleeping at the place we always sit when we go chimjes.

I remember hugging Eileen on 2006's christmas eve in cine's arcade cause we saw a certain someone and Carrot was looking quite envious then behind her back but she wasn't aware.

I remember us prata-ing and caroling away at boonkeng on christmas morning.

I remember me, huii, jit, leenx, tian gege, heading to the beach at paris ris after school and playing around with the swings and water at night.

I remember matthew dancing some super old school and techno dance and all of us were trying to copy him in thai disco.

I remember the time when we went to chimjes and all of us got seperated in all corners of chimjes and sam was asking huii at that point of time if she needed a ride home.

I remember me and joel eating buckets of ice when playing cards cause everyone else went hiding in different places and sam thought we were crazy when we asked him to join us.

I remember going pubbing the first time together with onions and darren and jit got so high that they needed me and tian gege to carry them.

I remember leon being late for my birthday celebration at chimjes on 2006 and i forced him to finish the cake which I kept all the way from PS mac to chimjes.

I remember carrot, yiyan, darren and ivan hiding inside PS mac while the others was sitting outside and ivan and darren was covering yiyan and asking me to guess who was behind them. Poor jit looked so sad cause their trick was seen through by me. Yiyan even mgsed me the afternoon before to tell me that she couldnt come for my birthday celebration cause she's sick.

I remember me, huii and jit watching the stars at paris ris beach at night till the next morning and I was so tired that I fell asleep sitting outside a random 7-11.

I remember us walking past the cemetery near huii's house to get to the playground and we saw this guy whose friends claimed that he was being possessed and we left quickly after that.

I remember meeting daddy at TM's long john and the first time I saw him wearing shorts and the first time I see him not styling his hair.

I remember me and eileen met those who went for SIP the first time and ivan asked a question and leenx gave me a stunning reply. I still remember the clearly stunned and priceless expression ivan had on his face.




I remember countless msn and phone conferences we had randomly.

Times when I browsed through my phone book and knew there were so many people whom I could call in times of trouble.

Times when I smiled to myself knowing that I had this priceless group of people with me, no matter what.



There were two people who had told me c121 (or the onions) were the best thing that had happened to them. And we'll always be here, being the strong pillar of friendship.


One has "dropped out" of our group.

I told the second one, not to hold such high hopes for everyone.








I suppose we're all growing up.









But do things need to change for the worse during the process of growing up?

Labels: 洋蔥

他說


人類都缺乏愛
又希望被愛
所以才會產生曖昧不明的感覺




我想應該就是這樣吧?





anyways.
p.s.
BIRTHDAY PHOTOS UP

Labels: 他, 星光, 生日, 請說

NOTE: PLEASE START WATCHING FROM 02:14



OMG.
Yuming is reminds me SO MUCH of mummy matthew XD
REALLY CAN!!!! OMG?! =X

Really, I SWEAR XD


and this one:



XD



I did tell matthew once before but he claims that he is more handsome.

LOLS.

I guess it's up to each person then.... =p





And this:


RANDOMLY XD

Labels: yuming, 洋蔥

雨又在下了
看外面又湿了
我一直等著
让屋里灯都亮著
这样伤心地睡了
这样压抑地醒了
想著你要来了
可该变的都变了

而孤独是什么
心冷是什么
情是什么
你是什么
我不要再想了
我已经倦了
我不想再唱了
我已经哭了

Labels: 宥嘉, 星光

Reading back on the jan08 archives, I realized I've been SO grumpy. And emo.




And,
When Im VERY upset and angry, I'll type in english.

While,
When Im bloody emo and extremely happy, I'll type in chinese.


lols.





Just praying that Im on the way to getting better.

the picture taiyang drew for me...


met jiali on 10jan to collect my present.

very random...
But very nice XD
thanks~


had icecream @ PS swensens


met maybelline the nxt day, 11jan08


collected ANOTHER present... brown handbag XD
[all my friends love me~]

cake + icecream @ thecathay




13jan08
went JB with huii + daddy.

set off from farrerpark -> dobyghaut -> bishan -> woodlands -> JB


had KFC after one morning of random window shopping


had to help daddy...

in the end still forgot to collect it from me -.-

me and huii on the private car bak hm...

DAMM HOT DAY!!!



moved eeyore to the office.

youtube-ing with 小美



on same day, 13jan08

mahjong-ed @ amanda's house till 2am

min's ancient mahjong...



last friday,
18jan 08 --> dinner with onions (and potato)

@ Fish&Co glasshouse (parkmall)









had chilicrab....


LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONG
time no see =)




today.
Outside house.
Father jus finished deco of house in preparation of cny.



closeup


大紅燈籠高高掛!



my house now looks like some brothel or pub liaox~

Labels: photos

Wilson Kor fly us kite tonight when me, min, ms joyce went ALL THE WAY to chompchomp to eat.










BLEHS.
those who fly aeroplane/kite balls will rot!

我好想好想飛　逃離這個瘋狂世界
那麼多苦　那麼多累
那麼多莫名的淚水
我好想好想飛　逃離這個瘋狂的世界
如果是你　發現了我　也別將我挽回


如果說了後悔　是不是一切就能倒退
回憶多麼美　活著多麼狼狽
為什麼這個世界　總要叫人嚐傷悲
我不能瞭解　也不想瞭解


我好想好想飛　逃離這個瘋狂世界
那麼多苦　那麼多累
那麼多莫名的淚水
我好想好想飛　逃離這個瘋狂的世界
如果是你　發現了我　也別將我挽回

Labels: ING, 五月天

把對我最重要的東西還給我.



我想

應該是時候了.



既然
你似乎不在需要他們了


我等了
好久....


我以為你會了解
你會感受得到


但
似乎沒有...


那就算了吧....

Labels: tsktsk

帶我離開,

好嗎?





逃亡

就算是逃亡到天涯海角




離開,
就好了.

Labels: tsktsk

我一直以為


如果聽著這裡播放的那些歌
也許可以走進我的心里


當他淡淡的唱著那些
唱著,

"
还有多少回忆
藏着多少秘密
在你心里我也许是你轻快的游戏
"




我以為生邊那些對我來說那麼重要的人
都會了解
都會想要了解

這個難以理解的小孩




也許我錯了














你們都不可能會了解我的.

Labels: tsktsk

Today has been an exceptionally tiring day.

-exculding out the dinner-





Mentally tiring.

I think we all are.



When offered a new choice, why would one pause to grab it?
If it's not meant to be, perhaps it's just not meant to be.



I feel like tell this person,
你曾說過我很像她,
但願你不會變的像他一樣






I felt it once before.
Then more times.
And moments ago, once more.

The feeling of communication breakdown.




不打擾, 是我的溫柔.


如果
有一天
有這樣的必要
必須...

放棄
放棄一段那麼深刻的友情


看開了
我會默默的離去

話
變少了

距離
變遠了


我會放你默默的離去

Perhaps time has come
Perhaps its not meant to be
Perhaps , perhaps, perhaps.



Friend,
It's hard for me to try that hard to make you understand.
Perhaps you would not understand how much one's anxious for the ones whom one love to understand them.
Perhaps it's hard for you to try to understand me.



Yes.
我是難以被理解的小孩.

Today went out for dinner at parkmall, glass house, Fish&co with the onions.

Ham, Tian gege, likai (potato), wangzi, leenx, daddy, huii, leon.





Whacking crazy conversations = so ONIONS ^^





misses the times we spent together,
Valuble and unforgettable.

We will have more dinner gatherings de.

作词／作曲：阿信(五月天)
制作人：周佳佑/周恒毅 ^^

如果你眼神能够为我
片刻的降临
如果你能听到
心碎的声音

沉默的守护著你
沉默的等奇迹
沉默的让自己 像是空气

大家都吃著聊著笑著 今晚多开心
最角落里的我 笑得多合群
盘底的洋葱像我
永远是调味品
偷偷的看著你
偷偷的隐藏著自己


如果你愿意一层一层一层的剥开我的心
你会发现
你会讶异
你是我 最压抑 最深处的秘密

如果你愿意一层一层一层的剥开我的心
你会鼻酸 你会流泪
只要你能 听到我
看到我的全心全意


听你说你和你的他们
暧昧的空气
我和我的绝望
装得很风趣
我就样一颗洋葱
永远是配角戏
多希望能与你有一秒
专属的剧情




















p.s.
LOLS.
洋葱 = ONION
Nope, this song aint meant to be sung to the onions. DONT WORRY. =X

Labels: 星光

宥是一個好聲音 ^^

魂瑩舊夢


又唱到脖子紅
又要搞笑

真可愛 ^^
預感

從這個角度看,
真的有一點像eason...

怎麼會那麼可愛 ^^
全世界失眠


真討厭真討厭!
怎麼又唱了陳綺貞的歌?!

這樣我會迷戀上他... ^^



我的天啊...
他唱了 [一追再追] ....


他唱了[一追再追]!
[一追再追]!!!!!!!!!!

是我結婚時一定要播的歌....


志明與春嬌
果然, 輸給我們的陳主唱的氣勢

但還是很可愛啦 ^^

但是這樣應該不能開演唱會吧?
還沒唱到一小時就掛點了 XD






果然
宥是一個好聲音 ^^


果然
是討人厭的宥嘉!

Labels: 星光

Nope.

I'm not about to start an obsession with the second batch.






Because I still feel that the first batch has the stronger power to touch many hearts with their mere voices





agreed? ^^

Let me clarify something.



I am NOT talking about a singular person in the below post.
Since the entire world is guessing who's the poor person who suffering the wrath of my anger...



Next topic:


I HEARTS THEM <333
^^
SO singaporean.
SO CUTE!
OMG
^^




Chasing my bad mood away XD

Labels: tsktsk, 星光

I bloody hate you.



You reminded me of him when you said those words.
You reminded me of him,
just like the very moment when he said that he'd feel honored if I loved him.


just like I wished I had said to him directly in the face,
HONORED MY ASS.

We're not writing a fucking romance novel here.
It's reality.
You don't tell a person who have affections for you that you are bloody honored.
YOU EITHER FUCKINGLY REJECT THE PERSON OR ACCEPT THE PERSON.



I fuckingly hate myself for placing my trust in you.
You were SO MUCH like him.
Telling me about so much and acting in another way.

Both were so fuckingly similar.



Cause I placed my bloody trust and MY BLOODY FUCKING HEART IN YOUR HANDS.

yet both of you....
Both of you decided to just play with it.

FUCK IT.






I hate you.
I SERIOUSLY DO.
I hate the "CIRCUMSTANCES DO NOT ALLOW" SHIT.
Just like him.
You gave me this excuse.
CIRCUMSTANCE DO NOT ALLOW.


fuck it.
FUCK IT.





You fuckingly know I hate BEING TAKEN FOR GRANTED.
Thanks for making me feel being taken for granted.




I fuckingly hate people who act as if they know me WHEN THEY DONT EVEN KNOW A BLOODY SINGLE THING ABOUT WHAT IM THINKING.
I'm sorry I'm so fuckingly NOT PREDICTABLE.
I'm so fuckingly sorry that I'm so HARD TO GET ALONG.
I'm so sorry that I EVEN WISHED TO BE UNDERSTOOD.






I'm sick and tired whenever I need to pretend that I'm well.
I'm sick and tired whenever people expects me to be mature.
I'm sick and tired whenever I can't even throw tantrums whenever I needed to.
I'm sick and tired whenever others expect me to be understanding WHEN I DO NOT WISH TO BE.
I'm sick and tired whenever I need to keep it from others that I lost someone whom I THOUGHT REALLY DID UNDERSTOOD ME LIKE NO ONE EVER HAD.
I'm sick and tired whenever everyone pitied another person who was hurt by him BUT THE ONE WHICH HE HURT MOST, IN MY HONEST OPINION, WAS ME.
I'm sick and tired whenever people take my presence for granted
I'm sick and tired whenever I hear songs and I think of HIM, really, FUCK HIM, GET THE BLOODY IMAGE OF HIM OUT OF MY FUCKING MIND.

Labels: tsktsk

fri - work, meet maybelline, meet sufen
sat - work
sun - JB, work, mahjong
mon - sch, sleep









I think jan is not a very good month.

It's the WORST PMS season which I had ever suffered from.





When I think back to count the times which I had truly been happy during the past month,
There are only two which I can remember clearly.

1.
When I was out with min and taiyang.

2.
When I was at mahjong at amanda's house and she mimicked someone on TV.










BLEHS.

Hihi!



Am blogging from amanda's house.



time check: 1:36AM

Activity: Mahjong

Partners in crime: Minmin, Amanda, Ambrose (Amanda's bro)




Emo-ness gone.
But.
SICKNESS ON ITS WAY.


Don't care.



I saw ONE FULL EPISODE of chaojixingguangdadao on SCV!!!!!
OMG.
nope, didnt bring me luck... cuz the episode I watched was the one Aska came bak to apologize... tsk...

Ohwells....




I AM GOING TO DREAM OF YOGALINYOUJIA TONIGHT.
dont care
XD

跳躍
狂奔

好想念



在難熬的時分
卻有輕快的歌聲
踩著輕快的舞步
在我四周打轉


真的是難熬的時分


很痛苦
很煩惱
很憂慮
很苦惱


謝謝你那一秒的安慰

Labels: 星光

真可愛
我喜歡 XD



有頭髮的時候怎麼那麼可愛XD




















沒頭髮的時候....



唱歌比較好聽啦~ =p

Labels: 星光

apparently,

Many things happened only 12 days into 2008.





I think 2008 is trying its best to prove that it's VERY exciting.





I now truly wonder if people throw away their innocence and trust in others, even good friends as they grow older.
I always felt that I had met enough people, to hear about enough stories for my entire life.
I had always felt that I'm very lucky cause I always seem to meet nice people along my life journey.

That was before nice people turned into shitty people.

We are not to have expectations for people.
Even when they have expectations of us.
If we expect something from them, we're considered shitty people also.
We blame others for being shitty.
And others blame us for being shitty.

I claim that I love you.
And you claim that you love me.
But we end up betraying each other in the end.


How nice, really.






It annoys me whenever she speaks as if she's so-ever-very close with him.
It irritates me whenever she chooses the-bastard-of-a-jerk over me.
I hate it whenever she tells me it's been 50+ over days since THAT THING.
truly, truthfully, truly.


THE EARTH KEEPS SPINNING AND I HAVE NO RIGHT TO COMPLAIN ABOUT THAT SO I DONT SEE WHY YOU HAVE THE RIGHT TO COMPLAIN ABOUT THAT EITHER.



Seriously,
Ah John would be SO disappointed in humans if he's really looking down upon us up there.




2008 is proving to be quite interesting.
Seriously.

I forgot to blog about this:






29dec 2007
梁靜茹 vs My at-last-no-swollen-but-very-AA boyfriend XD






First time seeing ms.fish in concert. Quite amazing.
She has always been a guest of their concert yet I have NEVER seen her really being a guest in their live concert.
I guess I'm pretty lucky cuz most of their concerts which I've been to only feature them and them alone. Else, they'd always be the main on of focus. lols.

Back to ms.Fish.

The last concert of the year.
Perhaps not the most anticipated.
The one which I finally decided I should fork out the money and buy tickets to watch as not to form any regrets.
A pleasant surprise which followed after the decision: the special guest.

I thought she'll disappoint me, while I was halfway thru the concert.

But she did not.



She's very different from Cheer.


Cheer has a very special and affecting presence when she sings.
Her simple and quiet voice forced the entire crowd to hold their breaths and sit still to listen to her.

Fish is much weaker than this, i suppose.

She needs the aid of colorful clothes and accessories on the stage to make her stand out more, else, it seems like she's too tiny for the stage and as if the stage's going to sallow her up.
At times, the music is too loud and it overpowers her voice and drags her under it.


But her songs are.... lols.
Must say she really very lucky, ALL the songs are nice!

And alot of hand actions while singing.
And ALOT of crapping with the audience (the mimicking of singlish... blehs....)

sidetrack:
the acrobats from the acrobatic academy in Beijing were FANTASTIC. omg.
absolutely stunning =X


The more outstanding ones which I remember from the concert are....
崇拜
三吋日光
小手拉大手
勇氣
傷痕
原來你也唱過我的歌
最想環遊的世界
分手快樂



Of course,

not to mention her l.o.n.g. awaited guest who FINALLY came out during the 2nd half of the concert.

He sang 擁抱 with her, den sang 溫柔[還我自由] on his own.



TOTALLY affecting.


XD

Labels: 五月天

也許天堂也常日落







很多千言萬語
































在令人困惑又迷惘的瘋狂世界中珍惜著一些些小小的幸福.

Labels: photos, 生日

我有可愛的朋友























我愛你們 =)

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