Thursday, May 31, 2007
I miss everyone.
lols.
strangely, except them. not even dear shijie.
ohwells.
met up with minmin juz now @ paradiz there. juz to take a look at dear wilson kor cuz he did something new to his hair. was expecting to say 'WOAH. SHUAI GE!' when i saw him but in the end didnt had a chance to... =X lols. *evil evil*
had 'dinner' @ sunshine plaza... had some yummy timsum + porridge.
procceded to cathay's b&j to slack. heard these two guys performing. hmm.
went home.
Oh yah.
my closet is NEAT again *happy*
tmr's the event @ cafe del mar. hope to have fun there.
yest.
daddy came back to sch. and paraded all over tp (allrite. IT sch n biz sch n mensa) and no, he does not look like any lecturer.
went home to change and went to suntec to meet wangzi.
yes. i saw teckkiang.
OMG. HE DOESNT RECONIZE ME.
nehneh.
steamboat-ed @ marina bay zhenfa with leenx. wangzi. yan. matt. likai. tian gege.
SUPER YUMMY CRABs:
all becuz of my dear mummy who took the effort to chop them for me =p
it doesnt feel like its been a long time since we've met up. lols. even thou i haven seen some in 2 weeks, or one week, or watever. seems we've always been meeting up and seeing each other nonstop and chatting online and whatever.
I MISS HAM N MOTO N CARROT!
the MIA-ing ones. hiakhiak.
have been seeing quite alot of people whom I've not seen for a looooong time. shall not mention everyone budden... brough back quite alot of memories. hiakhiak.
thai disco was, well, drinking and music.
lols.
curse those who didnt went. hiakhiak.
i admit im planning to drink a little more than usual.
but the fact was i didnt drink.
and im very sure that i wont drink till the extend of doing something stupid.
stupid as in alot of different aspects.
you guys get what i meant?
im not getting addicted to drinking.
and im not getting addicted to drinking.
even thou i very much would want to.
budden.
its not worth it.
yan. leenx. tian gege.
thanks for the concern.
escape, escapism.
oh, whatever.
no. i didnt pick them up from the airport today.
masa, stone, monster and the technicians came.
no, i didnt go to the airport.
yes, its the first time ever i didnt pick them up.
no, i didnt go not because mr.A wasnt there.
cuz i dont plan to drop by the airport tmr.
even thou its quite possible to squeeze out several hours for them.
-blank mode-
am i acting like myself?
so, what should 'myself' act like?
they arent just simply a crush.
its like having loved someone for a very long time.
perhaps loving too much till you cant see yourself?
when distractions steps in.
you ask yourself if you've been loving blindly.
we have all changed. they've changed. i've changed too.
是一种信念。
是一种信仰。
是一种倔强。
喜欢笨蛋的都是笨蛋。
喜欢憨人的都是憨人。
im tired.
hiakhiak.
weird mood.
Wednesday, May 30, 2007
its been AGES since there's a need for me to slack in sch.
imagine i can even take a bus at 11am. reach home bout 11.30am. bathe. slack. have lunch. be back in sch at 2pm.
hiakhiakhiakhiakhiak.
just for SOMEONE can =.=
ohwells.
hurhur.
IM FREAKING DUBER UBER BORED.
-complain complain complain-
lols. nice sounding words doesnt work on me. hiakhiak.
mayday's coming this weekend.
rain is on its way le =D
sodagreen's arriving on fri. cafe Del Mar on fri.
JUMP! on saturday.
WANNA GO LISTEN TO REHERSALS! -- cuz its the only exciting part of concerts. LOLS.
school has been allright.
MP has been managable. well, interim report and presentation due this week friday. evaluator is namhuat. lets see wat evil qns he's going to ask us. am so excited. heard so much evil stories and bitching about him, yet never did had him as lecturer. should be exciting.
projects are due on the week back after the holidays. week10. cmsk, dsag, sssd.
taiwan's next weekend. but has totally no UBER DUBER excited feeling for it.
just feels weird. yah.
im finally going there yet i dont really feel anything strong.
supposed i'd need to do research and read up more bout there. but seems i've always been reading about their culture and stuff... all the thingys on webs... their comments and the way they lash back at the stuff which they are against (which is a bloody alot).
den i realize, i never knew much about the real TAIWAN, as in, the places of interest and all. im still confused bout the tainan, taipei, etcetc, positions of where danshui, sanlih, gaoxiong, beitou, etcetc.
im hopeless. yah i noe. lol.
and im juz sprouting rubbish here mainly cuz im freaking freaking freaking bored.
and i found this somewhere:
世界上飄浮著許多思想，我們收集珍藏成為信念；
再將信念鍛鍊堆砌成山，挺身去抵擋世界的紛擾。
ahhh,
the wonder of chinese words.
words are indeed, facinating.
if i really could, would had just taken up language. worked even more harder from the begaining on chinese and english only. (nope, no french, no jap, no korean, no watever watever)
weirdly even thou i like reading so much but never planned to do anymore than that.
Interest in chinese is all due to the religion named MUSIC.
=)
random.
does humans have this habit of comforting themselves with nice words when others critize them and try to flush away and hurt their pride, and putting themselves down when they hear others praising them?
the nice sounding way of putting this is called 'being modest'
we all are aware that there's is no need for this. but emotions get the better of us, as always, more than logic.
its been a week since i've watched the gala Premier
ever watched the 1 and 2 of shrek?
think its childish to watch cartoons?
LOLS. you've been missing out ALOT then!~ XD
i love DRONKEYS (offspring of donkey and dragon) !!!
and of cuz the other mains also =p
even my niece was so amazed and jealous tat i watched shrek3 le!~ XD
okay.
and watched blades of glory on monday at the cathay with sufen n jiali.
conclusion:
UBER DUBER SUPER FARNIE.
lols. the whole cinema was laughing non-stop all the way and we were all singing "I dont wanna miss a thing" when they used the song for one of the skating scene... and the things bout the both guys was super hilirious. yah, abit idiot and plot predictable budden... woah~ UBER FARNIE!!!! lols!~
and.
i tink the female lead is pretty cute =p
Labels: photos
Tuesday, May 29, 2007
im,
not feeling emo anymore.
really.
swear with all my heart and mayday.
and.
well.
erm.
watever.
and then when shit happens.
we get to bitch bout it.
how fun.
tsktsk.
却，
该听懂得不应该是我。
对吧？
除了你之外，
没有人可以决定你的对或错。
因为后果你自己必须要承担。
Monday, May 28, 2007
ARGS.
brain bursting.
IM HUNGRY AND IM USING MY BRAIN TOOO TOOOO MUCH.
correct words to use:
[1] fuck
[2] shit
[3] crap
[4] nehneh
BLEHS.
Sunday, May 27, 2007
tsktsk.
some people dissapeared from the surface of earth.
how cool.
tsktsk.
im still ard.
im feeling better le.
even thou I didnt say it.
cuz im tired of answering "Are you okay? You're not okay rite?"
i tink it was the icecream which did the trick. *lemon sobert and milk*
lols.
and THE two dear cancerians.
i tink pork curry made them uber high.
and it kinda rubbed off on me too =p
i tink watching porn in the office helped too.
i guess i really missed working on a sunday... alone in the office... lols~ wanna do wat, watch wat, sing out loud, nibble on tibits also can.
lucky no editors read my blog
*thank the heavens*
my imagination came back to visit me le.
hope it'd stay long this time XD
I CANT WAIT FOR DADDY'S BIRTHDAY TO SEE MUMMY AND DADDY TGT!~ WOOT!~
*evil laugther*
*added*
Oh yah.
juz remembered. when reading someone's 6weird things, i realized that i forgot to add something.
while other people have some fetish for guys in uniform, for me, i UBER DUBER like guys in black rimmed specs, esp the thick frame de... =p
and guys in white or pink shirt. WOOT!~ =p
and.
rem the THAI DISCO which we went recently, got a pix of apple (or was it daddy arh?) holding the nuts?
i posted on multiply and my cousin tot it was drugs for a second =X
hiakhiak.
-space out-
*credits to whomever it mite concern*
*from desmonndkoh.com*
need a hug?
i tink we all cultivated this habit of hugging recently.
even I also started to hug alot of ppl ard me =)
Labels: photos
slacking and spending time.
went for casting. took like only not even halfnhr there, juz took 2 pix per person. *fingers crossed*
went off with huii. shopping. looking at clothes. shit. surrendered to temptation and bought jeans.. and a top... den after tat went to heartland mall.. become huii... she bought two tops... nice =)
met up with daddy n his friend. they dinner-ed. stuff. slacked. leenx matt likai came... slacked. came home.
tink my phone is gg berserk soon. lotsa missed calls from ard. sorry if you cant get me.
had been missing alot of people recently.
esp the office few.
min. sarah. amanda. wilson kor. esp joyce and her evil mouth.
shit.
i miss ALL OF YOU GUYS SO BLOODY MUCH. haii~
*tears*
i like the song i juz uploaded very much.
especially the lyrics.
not something quite mainstream, thou.
but still.
kinda explains wat im feeling now.
like needing to talk to someone.
but yet cant get anything out.
as if been thinking too much.
yet mind is still ever so blank.
neither happy nor sad.
neither here nor there.
neither excited nor depressed.
neither interested nor uninterested.
call me, talk to me, feed me stuff, fill my mind.
the world is complicated.
we dont live a simple life.
tsktsk.
我爱你不一定也等于你也爱我。
爱上一个人也许并没有错。
为了所谓你口中的爱，你愿意付出了多少？
你深深爱着，我淡淡看着。
肩膀能借你靠，但那一定不是你想要的。
你愿意为你所谓的爱付出多少?
说到底，
人类始终还是比较爱自己。
你忘了吗？
我们这些动物，有个名字，叫做人类。
人类，地球人。
你放荡，你堕落，你自由，你开心。
我不能控制，不能阻止，不能干涉。
那是你的人生。
不是我的。
我疯言，我疯语。
我不是看不下去了，也不是失望，也不是厌倦。
只不过想，停下来，看着你。
单纯的，看着你。
你就甘愿活在为自己画下的框框？
我不是你，不能为你回答。
shit. can someone call me and tok crap to me and prevent me from sprouting nonsense here?!
arghs.
Saturday, May 26, 2007
疯子 [许哲佩]
刷牙我想哭
洗脸我想哭
走路我想哭
静止我想哭
出太阳我想哭
起风我想哭
听歌我想哭
看喜剧我想
我控制不住自己
负担冭重的情绪
我拒绝面对结局
沉重的问题我不想听
伱给的很多规矩
说了很久的道理
却瞒不了我的心
再压抑 再压抑
我快不行
(天摇地动昏天暗地)
有眼泪 没眼泪
伱觉得我疯了
我瞬间耳鸣
听不见你们说的
我疯言 我疯语
眼泪让我瞎了
我哭我 眼前世界
原来快乐要用悲伤换的
可知不知道
你别在否认
我要的自由能不能够永生
可是我累了
我只好哭了
我像疯子的般不停的哭
我没有出路
伱也当我是个疯子
我是个疯子
Labels: ING
Friday, May 25, 2007
"I fell asleep in a heartbeat."
http://www.fanfiction.net/s/3386779/1/
"She was reckless. Naïve. Fearless. Trusting. Adorable. Hopeless. Intelligent. Funny. Feminine. Determined. Foolish. Careless. Frugal. Emotional.
She was beautiful.
Completely and utterly beautiful.
And she was his."
http://www.fanfiction.net/s/3160558/1/
being labeled as something nasty, someone worthless and somehow dirty.
the so-called fuckedup life.
i guess alot of people must be thinking in their minds now, please lah, she's only an 18yr old, how fucked up her life can be? afterall it's only SINGAPORE and how drama one's life can be?
lols.
very drama, i'd help you answer that qns.
the world is so very big and no matter what or how much we get to see, it's always limited... very limited. there's always new and strange stuff which we'd never get to hear about and so many nasty stuff imaginable or unimaginable which is happening to other people.
moral of the story which is trying to being brought across,
look at the people ard you, how many of them are suffering? do you think you are suffering too? that you are so much in pain? that you deserve better? than you can't get what you want so it somehow feels like the end of the world?
tsk,tsk.
enough said right?
all who reads my blog are smart people, so i suppose the point is being brought across without rubbing salt into the wounds.
i dont know this girl by person,
but i really do admire her.
to admit that life is painful isn't easy, cuz every other second we live with such a thought in your mind, always reminding you that every step you take is easy.
running away is a cowardy action, no one is supposed to encourage that cuz it's a bad thing.
but i do understand we need to take breaks and rests from time to time in life. don't always be so hard on yourself, right?
there's always two sides to a story, depending on which way you choose to see things, or which side you'd want to take. doesn't meaning that you consider everything makes u a super reasonable and honorable person and doesn't mean that you oni thought of one side makes you a super idiot jerk.
我们总是用着自己的票准衡量别人的堕落和痛苦。
我们都是糟糕的人类。
不断埋怨着拯救我们的使者怎么还没出现。
告诉你一个秘密，
其实他们都一直在你生边，只不过是你没有发现罢了。
Labels: tsktsk
Thursday, May 24, 2007
something random read from another place:
"
Single means you have the time to grow and be the person you want to be. Single gives you space to grow. Sometimes, it is harder to grow when you are too close to someone.
Trees are planted far apart so they can spread their branches and become strong as they mature.
Single means learning to live by yourself. However, that is no more difficult than learning to live with somebody else.
Single means freedom. You are free to spend a week's vacation on the beach, to take computer courses, to work late on an interesting project, to spend the day in bed with a good book, or simply with a person who has read one.
Single means learning not to need a man/woman to make your life meaningful but learning to live with a man/woman because you want to be with him/her.
Single means that sometimes you will wonder why you will bite your lip and feel wistful and wonder if marriage is better.
Ironically, yet quite happily, single is feeling good about being in control of your life.
It is liking and respecting who you are and why you are.
Single is realizing that being married is not necessarily better, it is merely different.
Single means that there could be something wonderful around the corner and you can take advantage of it.
Single means you are free to love again. There are times when we are afraid of telling the person, whom we love or like, what we feel deep inside because we might just lose them.
"
singlehood?
enjoying it when its around and then?
sounds pretty good but said once too often seems like you're just consoling yourself that you're on your own. humans are indeed weird creatures arh?
when we are single, we complain we are single and feel that loneliness is especially present in our lives and keep complaining its presence.
when we are attached, we worry that the other party isnt loving us the 'amount' they shld be loving us, or worry that something's gonna happend and wreck havoc to the r/s.
we keep complaing and worrying.
in one way or the other. even if when you keep telling the world and yourself it's okay and force yourself to think it's allright but deep in the self, we'd still think otherwise.
hiakhiak.
humans sucks.
totally.
lols.
life is so fucked up.
im suddenly reminded that,
actually there's nothing as simple as being attached only.
life is confused and messy.
=X
-take a break, cont at home-
Labels: tsktsk
i gave in to temptation can!
story:
daddy was bitching bout the hospitatility line in sg... say that they're paying peanuts so they're all feeding the monkeys ard... not like him... cuz he's the kingkong.
durh, yes i noe.
as my daddy claims, he is the KINGKONG... cuz kingkong doesnt eat peanuts... he eats BANANAS!!! and maybe he also eats other peanut-eating-monkeys also... =p
tsktsk. LOL.
juz came bak frm prata with daddy... SO CUTE CAN! HE WORE SPECS! BLACK RIMMED SPECS SUMORE! *shriek*
lols.
uber cute.
today was spent on random stuffs.
lunched with huii, daddy, ivan.
slacked @ marina sq with leenx while waiting for daddy.
yep, he got what he wanted.
slacked at HKcafe --- i dont tink im gg back there anymore. the food standard is dropping by millions and the service is still as per normal- sucky.
den hitched a ride with vince kor cuz he was picking rachel up frm sch @ milenia walk =)
den prata-ed lo.
pix pix:
22may07:
neo-prints AGAIN.
okies. i tink daddy fell in love with neoprint machines... =X
in the lift after watching shrek3.
shall blog bout shrek3 soon with the pix =D
23may07:
esplanade rooftop... can expect spending quite alot of time there rotting in the future.. =X
since daddy gg start work there =)
SEE!
got look UBER SUPER younger RIGHT!!!!! XD
beautiful skies =)
me and rachel in the car being random =p
we finally 'upgraded' le =D
the WHOLE mario collection which made me feel... stupid... first time spend so much on these stuffs... xim tia~ even thou is not my money!
and lastly:
LIKE DADDY LIKE DAUGHTER!
......
.....
....
...
..
.
CUTE RITE!!! XD
Wednesday, May 23, 2007
im here typing this blog post here.
wanna say some stuffs.
was unsure suddenly.
who am i? what kind of person am i? which is the truest me?
i kinda like the coward way out, of escaping, of taking a break and running away and dissappearing suddenly and shutting down from all emotions and blocking out whatever im thinking about.
do you know that there's a price to pay for blocking out unpleasant emotions?
cuz you'd block out the happy ones too.
hey there.
you are someone also as important to me. just like you wanna be someone whom i'd be proud of, i would wanna also be someone whom you'd be proud of, whom can talk to always and give valuable and sensible advice cuz in my pov, that's what someone you'd be proud of.
but hey.
im also human too. from time to time, i'd suddenly feel very unhuman. i dont cry, dont shed tears, dont worry bout my own stuff (and seems as if im running away from it), i am immune to alot of things which other people arent immune to (nice way is to say im mature enough to mind all such silly stuff but times i'd feel im juz too selfcentred to be bothered), im too loud, i dont feel apperciated and loved (but i know there are people who love me ard).
the sense of insecure-ness gets to me time to time, more often than i'd show it.
then i tell myself, "hey, dont be silly lah. it's all crap loh. life's great and there's so many people who love you out there, can't you just see it? beautiful life, sun is still shinning and wind is still blowing. why bother so much and get so affected? not worth it right? you are APPERCIATED AND LOVED, for goodness sake!"
it sometimes sounds as if im lying to myself to make myself better even when i know it's the truth. im human, im greedy, i admit i put myself down alot more than those people whom i despise cuz they fucking put themselves down all the time.
if you think im saying that "i also cant control these feelings is an excuse", then nevermind.
i CAN control these feelings, i can push them away and pursuade myself it's all nothing and everything isnt as bad as im telling myself too, i can stay strong and mature and sensible. i can continue behaving like the rongz you all are so familar with. and i will do so if such feelings were to invoke something dramatic which i dont wish for to happen.
i always said the truest words and i dont lie about such stuff to the people i love.
i'd get over it and I KNOW IT I WILL cuz give me a moment to bitch bout it and let it go please.
nobody did care before but
im glad that you did, really, honestly, deep from my heart.
please believe me that i'd get better.
tada.
a post juz for you arh! =D
Tagged! This is what you are supposed to do. Cut and paste if you decide to participate in the tagging game.Each player of this game starts off by giving 6 weird things about themselves. People who get tagged need to write in a blog of their own 6 weird things as well as state the rules clearly. In the end, you need to choose 6 people to be tagged and list their names. After you do that, leave them each a comment letting them know you tagged them and to read your blog...
6 WEIRD THINGS ABOUT ME
[1]
i get xtreme mood swings super uber often. and when it happens i behave more weirdly than usual, acting more high, or blanking more often than normal. but it seems like the usual me so not many people realize or juz dismiss it as the usual me
[2]
the reason i collect bottles beside my bed. some are closed with the caps, it's because they're already filled with memories of that particular night. those which are not capped suck away the loneliness which appears at night.
[3]
i'd ignore the phone and switch off the msn wheneve i get a new mayday or jay album and i'd pluck in the headphones and blast the album away and jot down feelings of each and every new song i listen to, and i'd listen from the first to the last song for one single time and hide the album away for a few days before starting to listen to it again.
[4]
i get addicted to the feeling of vomitting.
[5]
i like to smell people. esp smells with the warmth of the body. the warmth of the body what makes the smell different everytime you smell it.
[6]
i hate the feeling of getting used to being alone even thou im pretty used to it alr. i can keep doing something i hate alot and then it slowly becomes a habit and slowly it seems alright to keep doing it.
tagged:
-wangzi
-leenx
-jiali
-sufen
-amanda
-minmin
or leave something random in the taggie cuz if u've something weird which you wanna share budden i didnt tag you... CUZ YOU DONT HAVE A BLOG!~
[dont dare me to name u guys out hor~]
Tuesday, May 22, 2007
fuck.
i had it when people do disspearing act. intentionally or unintentionally.
i hate myself for fucking worrying so bloody damm much.
i fucking hate myself for caring so damm much and feeling like an idiot.
I KNOW ITS NOT MY BLOODY LIFE.
Dont come and repeat the same bloody line to me EVER.
at least not today if not i'd juz walk away.
*PISSED*
STUPID EARTHLINGS.
*frustration*
i know. tell me.
GET A LIFE.
sorry i dont have one.
i hate being brushed away.
i hate being unimportant.
YES I KNOW I AM.
我想发誓。
就算痛也不说出口。
就算爱也不说出口。
反正那只不过是我自己的人生。
不关你的事。
过了今晚就逃离有你们的世界。
Labels: tsktsk
Monday, May 21, 2007
LIFE.
is so freaking happening.
thankyou earthlings and vampires and onions and whatsoever-s.
for making my boring life so exciting.
-enough said for now-
shit.
wilson kor finally got a chance to meet daddy! XD
exciting exciting... the TWO CANCERIANS LAO RENS!
priceless priceless =)
den picked leenx up and went down to suntec for the ball-turning stuff. craziness. lols~
life's gonna be better.
im sure of it =)
im gonna make it become better.
taiwan trip's coming. mayday's coming. birthdays coming. june's coming.
happening may?
it's just life, right? *smile*
oh yah.
tat day dropped by girrafe with two peeps.
introducing:
apricot lady .....
ingredients:
apricot brandy, rum, lime juice, EGG WHITE.
results?
TRY IT AT YOUR OWN RISK.
-enough said-
Labels: photos
Sunday, May 20, 2007
yest met up with wilson kor and minmin to have dinner. actually had other plans but... didnt proceed with the plans cuz dinner-ed and crapped till too late... dinner-ed @ sushi teh at serangoon gardens there... opp chompchomp... bo bians have to eat at such a nice place cuz forced wilson kor to wear nice nice out... lols~ and he realli did... i guess he really loves us alot =p
and he really didnt style his hair! so guai! XD
love these two peeps...
minmin, LOVE YAH!
wilson kor, LOVE YAH TOO! even u paiseh to hug me but nvm, i hug u can le =p
lols. juz a bunch of crazy people who love each other alot. lotsa hugging and drinking. yah. i
about mummy tongue-ing ahnehs and stuff bout like father like daugther and crazy dancing and sing-a-longs and huggings and kissing and laughing and toking to strangers and drinking so bloody much and grabbing nuts from the big containter.
Dearly Loved XD
huii baobei, daddy, leenx gf, matt mummy ^^
http://rongzreverie.multiply.com/photos/album/14
dark in the night when the soul hides behind the blinking neon lights and trembles to the pumping music, the body gets lost in hugs and alcohol, it's easier to
there's so many of "you could had" but nothing was done. im dissappointed but yet i can smile from the bottoms of my heart and say im all right with it and life goes on.
but yet, so much about promises and being friends... *smile*
i admit, i miss you lots, esp deep in the night but the feeling passes and i'd survive, esp with so many people loving me ard.
know some of u guys out there think that this is a very unhealthy lifestyle. i know it's unhealthy to drink ALOT but the actual fact is i dont drink fucking alot and i dont drink everyday, perhaps once or twice per week... and i drink with people i love alot so even if anything was to happen... lol... they'd take care of me also... so dont worry kaes? im having fun.
and so much fun that i miss them the moment i get home =p
因为我是寂寞的个体。
谢谢有这些宝贝的温暖 =)
Labels: photos